Post # 1
My fiancé and I cancelled our wedding last October (2012). We were suppose get married 5/11/13. We have been through a lot in the 5yrs we’ve been together…he had some anger issues and I started talking to someone but nothing happened…I regret what I did everyday bc I hurt my fiancé and I should have never started talking to someone but I felt trapped in my relationship…that my fiancworking get help. When everything came out and we talked we fought, broke up but then decided to get back together, hagreed to counseling which helped us both so much. We are still working on things band things are going great. We have our good days and bad and sometimes it’s really rough but we both love each other. I’m hoping we can get past all this. My fiancé is working on building up trust fully for me and I’m trying to help in every way I can. Our wedding date is coming up( original one) we have discussed getting married but money is also an issue as we’re paying for texceeding ourselves so there is no wedding date yet. My question is how do you deal with the cancelled wedding day…do we do something together or just not even bring the day up? I’m not sure how he is going to act I’m kinda guessing upset. I was thinking of going away for that night but we both work all day so there’s time we’ll be apart. I’m very emotional over it… I cry a lot when he’s not home…I know some of it is my fault and I wish I could take it all back….it doesn’t help two of my brothers are getting married this year one in may and one in sept. Has anyone felt with this? Did you do anothing on the day the wedding was supposed to be? How did your partner act on that day? Does it get better?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I don’t know how rocky your relationship is right this moment, but if it’s successfully on the mend, what about treating the day as a kind of promise of things to come – dress up, light some candles, cook a nice dinner together, share a bottle of champagne, put on some sweet music and slow dance in the living room? I don’t think of it as healthy to view it as a ruined day if you are still together. I have not been in your situation, but I would try to make it a happy, “maybe not now, but soon!”-feeling day.
Does that make any sense?! Haha
Post # 4
My situation is a little different than yours, our original wedding date was July 2 2011, however my father passed a away 4 days before the wedding, and thus we moved the date to April 14 2012. Everytime that July 2 passes, we laugh and think holy heck, it is WAY too hot to be getting married on this day, what were we thinking!
A missed date is just that, a missed date. My April date had absolutely perfect weather, and that is the day I chose to remeber in respect to our wedding. Keep your head up and look forward, your day will be here soon enough.
You can’t look to your past while creating your future
Post # 5
I would say our relationship is on the mend …sometimes he’ll get mad or if we have an argument( which we rarely fight at all) he will bring up that past…it’s still I guess somewhat fresh but we are working through it…I’m trying to not push the wedding issue and for him to let me know but when I asked him last night he said I do want to get married just not sure when…part of the issue is he sold a motorcycle for the wedding he didn’t have to but he chose that so now I guess hfeels like he sold it for nothing which I can see but I don’t know how to know when he’s ready without asking….I desperately want to plan for nxt yr but Kepler telling myself not to push things with him…..not sure and as for the old date I will try to treat it as just a day and maybe well do a nice dinner and something the day after since we have off.
Post # 6
If that happened to my Fiance and I here is what we would do on the day:
We would spend the day together in pajama pants eating ice-cream out of the bucket and watching documentaries about dinosaurs. Then wine, lots of wine, and Indian take-out. Anytime we felt really sad about it, we would pause the documentaries and talk about what we were feeling, our regrets and wishes for the future without judgment or defensiveness. Then after dinner we would have a heart-to-heart about where we want to go from here (elope, have a big wedding, just stay dating etc.) and come up with a plan so neither of us are kept in the dark.
Though I suppose that plan only works if you have the same inordinate love of ice-cream, wine, Indian food and dinosaurs that we do.