- 7 years ago
I am going under cover for this one. Let me set you up with some background information… My Fiance and I have been dating for close to three years now. We met in college, and we’re now seniors. We were long distance for six months when he spent a semester abroad in Australia. While he was there, he was one of two guys… with 16 girls. Now I am a jealous kinda girl, but my Fiance is a jealous kinda guy too. We’re never intrusive, or demanding, or necessarily distrustful, but we just don’t like to see our other half with other people! Lol.
Anyway, while he was abroad he (as he should) made some really great friendships with some of these girls. That was fine. What wasn’t fine was his relationship with this one girl. I’ll call her Katie. Katie is a cute, petite, tiny girl who LOVES male attention. She is the kind that HANGS all over any and every guy, and necessarily doesn’t respect boundaries. In fact, the one other guy there had a Girlfriend too, and they actually broke up because of the raunchy stuff Katie was hinting about on his FB wall, and the pictures, and the little 😉 in every conversation… My Fiance told me about this, but said that she wasn’t even on his radar for being a “threat.” Well that changed.
A few months later, he gets on gchat and says he needs to have a very serious talk with me. Katie did the whole “I like him but don’t tell him! hee hee hee!” game (him being my FI) and it, as she intended, got back to him. He told me that she was interested, but that I should NOT be worried, we’re getting married, she’s a trashy girl, etc. That’s all well and good, but then 2 days later I see pictures of them drunk at a bar hanging all over each other. Real nice. I didn’t want to play the “jealous FI” card so I tried my best to let it go and ignore the pictures, the wall posts, the flirty comments. We almost broke up.
Right before he got back it all came to a head and we had a gigantic falling out. I pretty much told him that he needs to block these girls who wrote on his FB these cutesy flirty things constantly (many of the others were relatively harmless, but compounded with Katie I just couldn’t take it) I know I sound psycho bitch, but when your Fiance is across the world and one of your only methods of communication is covered in “I HAD SO MUCH FUN LAST NIGHT! When you come over to my dorm tomorow make sure you bring the slippers, lol ;)” it really weighs on you. This shit was constant, too. Literally daily.
Another wrinkle: my Fiance is one of those “nice guys”. He is not very confrontational. He is also not the most physically attractive guy in the world (although I think he’s perfect) so I really think that he liked all this female attention, even though he would never admit it. He couldn’t even DREAM of telling these girls, “Listen, my Fiance and I are having problems, and it doesn’t help for her to see the stuff on my wall. Could you please stop?” even though that is really all it would take. He did end up blocking all the problem girls, and things got better. He admitted it made him feel uncomfortable, and he knew it was hurting me. I have blocked and defriended guys who have done WAY less, btw.
ANYWAY. FB changed its privacy settings, and pretty much did away with the feature that allows you to block certain people from posting on your wall. What do I see today? “Katie wrote on ArujnasFI’s wall: Since i can FINALLY write on your wall again, WHEN ARE WE HANGING OUT!”
I asked him about it, and he says he doesn’t want to “be mean” and delete it. Ughhh seriously dude? The girl who YOU TOLD ME had a crush on you, almost broke us up once, but you want to be the nice guy?
All the feelings came up again. I hate how this makes me feel. If you got this far, you deserve ice cream or something. Here.
TLDR: Girl from FI’s past who had a crush on him comes back. Fi won’t tell her to go away. What do I do?