(Closed) Feeling sad/frustrated/lonely about my relationship

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.  That stuff would not be okay with me at all.  Especially since this girl obviously knows he’s engaged.  I’d be pissed.

I have no advice though.  Just lots of sympathy and good wishes for you.

Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Linz1231: I agree. It sucks that he feels the need to have that female attention. Can’t he just delete her and be done with it?!?!

Post # 5
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Thanks for the delicious icecream!

Well there is  a lot going on with the past and the present, that I see is making you question your sanity and future.

You make Fiance appear to be trustworthy and rather uninterested in this woman, regardless of this woman and her advances. Does your Fiance drink or party and do silly things he regrets?

I can see how incredibly awkward it is for your Fiance to try to ignore and shoot down this woman after her believing this is all okay and working, but If he really honors your relationship together and wants to respect your comfort level, he needs to kick this gal and her slippers out the door and have a serious talk with her. No more social events like bars at night, he should just stick to school and keep the eye on the prize.

Post # 6
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

(oh dang, you totally just made me want some ice cream!!!)

sorry I really don’t have any advice… :-/

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

the fact that she writes where have you been tells me that he hasnt been with her lately so i dont understand why you might think your Fiance is paying attention to her

and did he change his security settings because one day i have my details guarded and the next day my phone number is being published so was maybe its FB changing again

but yes, i would be pissed about anyone not respecting boundries so keep communicating with your Fiance so you are both on the same page about this

Post # 8
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, girls like that make my skin itch. I know how you feel, my Fiance was in summer classes a few summers back ALL summer and he was a education major so it is pretty much all girls and they did things like that, but luckily he came home to me every night and I didn’t have to worry about him being halfway across the world.

It’s a totally sucky feeling, but I would definitly trust your Fiance. Aside from the drunk pics has he ever done anything to make you doubt him? If not, then I would just talk to him like you have been, letting him know it makes you uncomfortable. Unfortuntely, there isn’t much else you can do.

At least you know he has been ignoring her. Can’t he just block her though? Delete her and have done with it? And if he pulls the whole “I don’t want to hurt her feelings” ask him if he would rather hurt yours or hers. I’m not a fan of ultimatums, but there you have it.

Good luck, girl!!

Post # 9
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I dont think youre being unreasonable at all! I’d be pissed too. At the same time though, my Fiance is just like yours, nonconfrontational, wouldnt delete a comment im sure, to not be mean, etc.

Buttt, youre who he needs to worry about “not being mean to.” Not some skank.. Just talk with him and explain how youre feeling. I hope everything works out for you, I know it will!

Post # 9
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yum, ICE CREAM!

I hate when girls do those sort of silly games. Did your Fiance respond to this girls FB post? If not, deleting it won’t matter. He can just say nothing in response and let it drop. It isn’t his fault she’s trying to hang out with him, but if he makes no response back then I think you should let it go, as long as he continues to not respond to any messages she sends.

The problem is if he IS responding and hanging out with her- then you should sit down and talk seriously with your Fiance about how you feel and what you two are going to do about this.

I wish you both the best, I hope you can get past this quickly!

Post # 10
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh, and Id trust him. Hes telling you about it. If he had something to hide, he wouldnt say much or make up an excuse.

Post # 12
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Arjuna: That sounds like a good way to word it, this is inappropriate, stop. But my concern (i’m a jealous female too) would be that then, it all goes private. Lots of hugs for you. 

Post # 13
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee

He probably doesn’t want to hurt their feelings, especially if he goes to school with them and has to deal with them. Sometimes the least dramatic route is the least confrontational one. Maybe he’s growing up in that way? If you trust him completely, there shouldn’t be too much a problem, just a general disgust at how disrespectful the girl is. Obviously, she enjoys tearing apart relationships to make herself feel better and she probably won’t quit until she wins. Which, it sounds like, she won’t. 

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