(Closed) Feeling sad/sentimental about losing maiden name

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 16
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I was thinking about this for a little while.  I was feeling a little attached to my last name and of course it’s somethng that I have lived with my whole entire life.  But now that I am getting married in a month, I am actually pretty excited to use my FI’s last name.  It actually  has a very nice ring to it.  At least my maiden name will be my middle name so it won’t be lost.  My mom said that at least I have a brother so hopefully he can carry on our last name LOL

Post # 17
19 posts
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Venus Garden @ Caesars Palace

All along, the plan was for me to hyphenate my maiden and new last name. Once we were married, or shortly before, my husband told me that he understood if I wanted to hyphenate and he’d support that decision, but that it would mean a lot to him if I just took his name and dropped mine completely. 

I feel like he sort of sprung this on me last minute and now I’m confused about what to do. My maiden name feels like such a big part of me and my identity. I’m an only child, and my father passed away 2 years ago. I feel like to lose that last name would be somehow disrespectful to my mother and father. I just feel very torn about what to do now. It’s also such a huge hassle. I have to change all this paperwork about me, lose my email address (which is my [email protected]), probably have to change my work email address (which is just my [email protected]), it just seems like so much has to change and it kind of scares me. 


I want to show solidarity with my husband. I want to share my last (or at least part of my last name) with my future babies, but I don’t want to turn my back on my family and my history. Obviously no one (including my father, rest his soul) would think that I’m turning my back on them just because I take a married last name, but it just feels really weird to me. 


Am I being insane?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  beeb. Reason: spelling error
Post # 18
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ll be taking my fiance’s name, and at least up until this point, I feel no emotions towards “losing” my last name. I like my last name and I’ve started a career with it, but I guess I don’t feel my name is as tied to my sense of self as a lot of women do. Maybe that’ll change once the ball gets rolling.

You’re still you 🙂 Take it one day at a time.

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