Post # 1
So the DH and I had be talking pretty heavy of babies this week, and he agreed that we could start trying in the next couple months. As soon as I asked if I could go off BC (I’ve been on it for almost 8 years straight) in order to get used to my cycle again, he freaked out and said no. Now I feel like the conversation on when we can start trying is closed.
I’m so bummed out. I thought he had come around to seeing the joys of starting a family although we might have to sacrifice a little personal time, but I think he’s still stuck in bachelorville. So now I want to sit on my couch watching Friends all day and eating cookies. 🙁
Post # 2
If I were you, I’d try to get a timeline with him- say after the holidays- to go off BC. I think men need a little time to get used to the idea of something, and if he has 2 months to prepare then he might freak out less.
Post # 3
How does he get to decide when you come off birth control? And what was his reason for saying no? I’m assuming you would be using another form of protection until you get ready to TTC.
Post # 4
I went off of BC in June. I was on it for about 10 years and we want to start TTC in January. My cycle is not regular at all and now i wish i stopped it sooner. You should try talking to him again. I think the timeline idea is good.
Post # 5
Last time I checked he didn’t get a say in what you put in your body. If you want to come off it, then do so. You will have to just use an alternative method of BC to prevent pregnancy until you are both ready for a baby.
Post # 6
I don’t think him saying no means that he’s backing out of being ready to try soon – I actually had a similar reaction from my husband, and it’s just that he thought me going off the pill meant we’d be trying right away. Does he understand why you want to go off? Have you explained how you’ll continue to prevent pregnancy until you’re both ready to TTC (like, what methods of BC you’ll switch to)? I’m thinking he just freaked because he had agreed to a few months away and suddenly it seemed like you wanted to pull the goalie immediately. (FWIW, I explained all this to my DH, and he was more comfortable with me coming off the pill. I stopped it about 6 months before we planned to start trying, and I charted and we used condoms until we were ready).
Post # 7
It’s your body, your birth control… you can go off birth control whenever you want. Will he wrap it up?
It’s absolutely ridiculous child prevention is so heavily placed on a woman’s shoulders.
Can’t wait until RISUG reaches the US.
Post # 8
It seems like he said trying in a few months as in going off the pill in a few months. I’d just wait until he’s ready to stop taking it.
Post # 9
Thank you all so much for your input and help- I definitely feel better and think I know what to say now when we talk. I want to go off the pill, so I’m going to go pick up some condoms. Maybe actually having them will help ease his mind.
pghbride2013: Thank you thank you for your input this is really helpful to know that it probably will take some time
SadieBee: I will try to explain it better- you’re right that even though I mentioned other BCs he’s probably just freaked out and doesn’t quite understand
Post # 10
First of all, I’m sorry you are feeling crushed that your hubby isn’t quite ready yet :/ It’s obviously a mutual decision to start trying for a baby but going off the pill is completely up to you (as long as you tell your hubby you will need to use another form of BC until he is ready). I highly recommend you let your body have atleast 3-6 months to regulate because it might really need that time. I went off bcp after being on them for 8 years straight and it’s been almost 4 months and my cycles are a total mess (not ovulating, it’s been 48 days since my last period, periods have been sooo light when I did get them, etc.). When I went off the pill I just told my husband I was going off, even though we weren’t ready to ttc until Decemeber, because sometimes it takes a while to have things get regulated after you go off. I am SO glad I did because if I had gone off the exact moment my husband felt ready for a baby, we would be waiting MONTHS to actually try since my cycle is so screwed up now. For your sake, I hope you go off the pill and everything works beautifully right away like it does for some people, but unfortuantely that’s not the case sometimes. Best of luck!!!
Post # 11
DanceawaytheNight: I think you need to talk with your DH again and really explain to him what happens when you come off BC. I came off in April after 8ish years on and my cycles are still not regular and may never be. While I did ovulate the first month off, my LP is always different and I’m taking vitamins to regulate my cycle as much as possible before we begin TTC. My DH had no idea about how much BCPs affected my “normal” cycle. He did think that coming off= getting pregnant and I really had to explain what it would actually be like. I would talk with him about this (plus…there are other, non-hormonal ways of preventing pregnancy until the right time) and set a firm timeline. Some men are just genuinly clueless and think getting pregnant is a snap.
Post # 12
Hey ladies- just wanted to let y’all know that things went better than I thought. He was totally fine with it once he understood where I was coming from. Yay!
Post # 13
FWIW, I got pregnant the first month I went off B/C both times. I’d been on hormonal b/c at least 10 years when I got pregnant with my son, the first month off them. So, if you aren’t ready, I’d use more than a condom for backup.