Post # 17
@Sassyfras27: You don’t sound at all selfish or entitled. Your dissapointment is totally understandable.
Call your Grandmother and simply tell her it would mean a great deal to you for them to attend your reception and ask if it would be possible for them to make arrangements for the dogs? Offer to look up some dog sitters in your grandmother’s area. The worst she can do is say no.
i don’t even know what to say about your Aunt but you could always tell her you would really like her yo be there and who know, she might change her mind.
Post # 18
@Zhabeego: I like your idea of offering to find a dog-sitter for her and might suggest that the next time I see her in person, but who knows… she has always been like this for my entire life and never traveled to see me play in any sporting events in high school even when she lived a block away, etc. If i’m being honest with myself, that’s probably why it hurts so much – I got my hopes up that maybe this time would be different – after all it’s my wedding day and not many people in my family have full-out weddings.. but I should have probably seen it coming.
As for my aunt – nothing can be done for the situation, it’s just frustrating that my cousin is having another ‘accident baby’ (my aunt’s words, NOT mine) after just having one not long ago.
Thanks to the bees who have been sympathetic today. I know nothing can actually change the situation, I just needed a place to vent and whine and feel hurt because I don’t want to make my family feel bad by saying anything to them directly.
Post # 19
@Sassyfras27: I don’t think you’re whiney. I’d be really disappointed too if my grandma said she was leaving right after, especially because I’m quite close to her. I would care less about my aunts because I’m not very close to them, but if I were I would be disappointed too. Your feelings are valid! Hopefully something can be worked out with the dogs…
Post # 20
@Sassyfras27: Not that this helps BUT, my grandmother wanted my dad to take her home right after the ceremony because she just didn’t want to visit with people. My dad of course refused to do that because she lives an hour away and he would have missed my reception. So my grandmother DIDN’T EVEN COME TO MY WEDDING. Try explaining that one to people. I was so furious/upset. So anyway, I can totall get your disappointment, just be glad they are going I guess.
Post # 21
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
@Sassyfras27: You’re not being whiney. You want the support of your family on your wedding day; nothing is more normal!
You could try offering to get your grandma a dog sitter, but the truth is that she might just be wanting to get home b/c she’s that type, and the dog is an easy out. I’d be prepared for another “reason,” once you offer a solution.
chin up! It’s going to be a wonderful day, and the people who attend will be so happy for you!!!
Post # 22
One of my dogs is getting older and is having a lot of bladder issues (Cushings disease, medicated but still not quite normal) and we’ve decided on the wedding that he’ll be there for the ceremony, and then fortunately the kennel he’s been going to since he was a puppy, he’s 11 now, is just 10min down the road versus the 40min drive it takes us to get him there from our house, so he’ll be going straight there after the ceremony for a little sleep over.
A dog sitter might be a nice offer for the grandmother, or perhaps if your family is in the area and they’re willing to put her up for the night to fix the driving in the dark thing, maybe you could even have them keep the dog at someone’s house closeby or arrange for a sitter to let the dog out at night and in the morning, so they can stay somewhere close by and return in the morning?
I don’t think it’s rude to ask if there’s any way that you could help to facilitate them staying for the reception, just let them know that their presence is the gift to you on your wedding day, and how much it would mean to you to have them there. If it’s not possible for whatever reason, of course you understand, and you appreciate them making the trip to come just for the ceremony. 6 hours of driving total for a ceremony is a long trip, so yeah they aren’t staying for the reception but they’re definitely making an effort to make sure they’re there even for just a little bit.
My grandma is 90, and I wanted a destination wedding but knew she wouldn’t be able to come to something like that, so I’ve sacrificed a destination wedding combined with a honeymoon for a venue that’s 45min away from my home (and Fiance and his relatives all live a good 20-45min past me so they’ll be driving tons extra) so that she’ll only have to travel 30min each direction by car, and I know she’ll also be leaving the reception fairly early so I’m also trying to find her a place to stay. Grandmas are odd sometimes, I know mine is, and I’m just going to try to appreciate that she’s sitting there for even a bit of it and sees me marrying the love of my life 🙂 I know she’ll be celebrating wherever she is.
Post # 23
@Sassyfras27: focus on what you DO have – a living grandparent who will be able to attend your ceremony. That is pretty special.
Post # 24
@Sassyfras27: She’s travelling 6 hours in one day to be at your wedding and as you said driving back in the dark… maybe you should appreciate that gesture for what it is instead of focusing on the negative?