Feeling So Many Conflicting Thoughts

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

He said he wants to propose but just make it special. From this single post, it doesn’t sound like you should just jump straight to “it’s never going to happen”. 

It sounds like you guys need to have a sit down conversation about a timeline. Just because you have a baby together doesn’t mean you can live out a happy engagement period. 

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

My Fiance and I both come from “broken” families as well. Neither of us really thought that much about marriage. But we’ve been together for about 6 years and have lived together for about 2. Being engaged does feel different than being “just” in a commited relationship. I think for both of us it’s even more meaningful and a serious decision because it’s choosing to join our lives completely. It’s not just a public and social declaration, it’s a legal one as well. I’ve said before that I don’t think getting married is neccessary for all couples and that you can definitely have a commited relationship without getting married but it sounds like you would eventually like to do so. Unless your feelings change you shouldn’t just completely take it off the table. 

I second the opinion that you both just need to have a conversation about solid timelines and future goals. Maybe in time for your daughter to be a flower girl? wink

Post # 6
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

View original reply
ladybugmama :  If you want to talk about it, go for it. You could also explain that it’s by no means an ultimatum and I would be sure to express your ambivalence on the whole subject too, it might make him feel better about being not completely sold on the whole thing at this very moment. You already have such meaningful things bonding you together, I don’t think he’d be scared off by you bringing it up in the least. 

With my SO I brought it up before we had things set because of future goals we have that would pretty much require us to get  married (an international move) or at least would make achieving those things much easier. You could casually bring it up when you discuss your future together and what exactly you both want that to look like. In the mean time, take a breath and take heart, he already knows that he wants it to happen just not the specifics yet! <3

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