(Closed) Feeling so sad right now…

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry you are having a sad time. Do you think that maybe he filed his taxes and is planning to use that money to get you the ring? He may just be waiting for the funds to be deposited to his account.

Post # 4
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

That sucks! I’m so sorry! Something very similar happened to me where FH mentioned looking at rings and then it took us about 6 weeks before we actually got to a store (and that was with me pushing, asking, etc!)

I think that once guys actually say the words out loud, they get nervous that the process will happen very quickly and some drag their heels because they’re worried you’ll expect a proposal too soon after looking at rings. I don’t think it means he’s not sure he wants to marry you, he might just be nervous that if you look at rings, you’ll start expecting a proposal soon when in reality, he might just be starting to save up or might just need a few more months before that happens…

Have you guys talked about a timeline for when you would like to be married and start a family, etc?

Post # 5
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

🙁 I’m sorry he keeps doing that to you! That’s not fair, it’s not nice and you need to tell him that it’s making you super upset! And tell him that unless you’re going to go RIGHT NOW, to just not bring it up. Because clearly, he can’t manage to keep his word.

Post # 7
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with KM on this, totally. If it were me I’d just say that I’d love to go but when he changes his mind like that it’s really disappointing, etc etc. Also, if you think that he’s waiting for your relationship to become “perfect” maybe you guys need to talk about what he thinks your relationship should be like before he proposes. I don’t think that any one relationship is perfect, I think it can be the perfect relationship for that particular couple but we’re all our own people with our own opinions and ideas so arguing is inevitable occasionally.

Post # 8
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

oh no, cutelittlebuzzingbee! it sounds like you are right to be upset. i’d be upset if ring shopping got pushed off and pushed off and pushed off… do you think you can schedule a time with him and talk about your concerns? and if you’ve tried that before and it’s just not getting through to him… ake a big “time out” for yourself. plan a weekend away with girlfriends, spend more time doing hobbies you enjoy, see your family, etc. it might help to clear your head and give him some time to think about what he wants.

Post # 11
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

First of all, I’m sorry this is happening.  Getting your hopes up is no fun.

Have you tried Mr. Bee’s 3 steps.  he gives good advice for girls that are waiting.  

Post # 12
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t really know what to add in, but I thought you needed some *HUGS*!!!! Sorry you are sad! That’s not a very nice place to be in a relationship. It’s really stressful.

Post # 13
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I feel you… I had similar issues with him bringing it up (on his own!) and then flaking out/not following through.  I solved it by telling him not to mention ring shopping again until he meant it.  I was serious.  Like 3 weeks later he brought it up, followed through, and proposed the day after the ring arrived.

Post # 14
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry. You definately have a right to be upset with him. Mr. Bee has a post around here somewhere about waiting. I am not sure how to find it though. One of the things is to just pretend to forget about doing the proposal and just start doing your own thing. Go out with the girls, go workout, go do something fun. Just do things for you. If he sees that you can survive on your own, it may kick start him into gear. Try putting a little distance between the two of you and see what happens. Also, does he have trouble making decisions on other things? Might this be a pattern? Or is it just this one thing that he is having trouble with?

Post # 15
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I have to agree with KM as well. Next time he brings it up just tell him.. yes your excited to go but unless you guys are going to go immediately.. you would appreciate him not asking because it makes you feel sad.

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