(Closed) Feeling Stupid

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@VioletSky:  I’ve had both actually… a “real” wedding with 150 ppl for my first marriage, and I eloped for my second.  

You can’t think of a wedding in terms of value for the money spent, you have to consider it an experience.  If what you want is a grand celebration with all of your friends and family, then that’s the experience that will make you happy and you can’t put a dollar value on that.

However, if you’d actually RATHER have a small ceremony, or elope, and you’re only having the big wedding to please others, then it will definitely feel like a waste of money.

Do what makes you happy… period.

Post # 4
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have a few times but I’m proceeding on.  We are already legally married, we signed paper work at the clerks office, self option so no officiant, ceremony or vows, but the family is really excited about having a ceremony so we are having one back home on the other side of the country.  It’s an opportunity for us to exchange vows and to actually have a ceremony of any sort.

Sometimes I feel silly planning this wedding but mostly I am happy about it.  I feel a lot of pressure though!  Everyone is expecting it to be this fun party and I hope it can live up to their expectations!

Post # 7
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Not at all. Actually with less and less people having large weddings – I’d say I’m just doing my part to support the economy 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t feel stupid at all!  Did you both choose the same FI?  Or even the same dress?  Nah, because even though you’re friends, you each have different styles and different things suit each of you better.  You can do an “elopement” on one of your anniversaries later to have that experience, though!  

Post # 9
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@VioletSky:  Maybe ask her if she wants to bow out of your wedding party… if you’d feel ok about losing her?  Do you have another friend/cousin etc… who you could ask in her place?

Post # 11
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There are a world of things daily that can make me feel frivolous, so I hear ya. Today I’m wearing my new Louboutin wedges….talk about frivolous.

You are (hopefully) planning the wedding of your dreams and thankfully everyones hopes and wishes are different. What a plain world this would be if everyone aspired to do the same things!

Post # 12
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve wanted to elope since day one (We are cruising Europe for our Honeymoon and I figured 2 birds 1 stone) But He wanted a wedding so that be that. I have tried to keep cost down but I keep thinking about what we could save if we for go it all. I guess one day I will look back on it and realize I am glad there was a wedding but for now its a lot of DIY to not feel so guilty

Post # 13
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@VioletSky:  very cute… and I just have to say how impressed I am that youre making this about including her, and not having a temper tantrum about her getting married before you 🙂 Youre obviously a wonderful friend, and I love how you want to make this time more special for her too.

Post # 14
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

80-90 is a perfect number. That was what I had. Intimate but without feeling like we didn’t get to celebrate with everyone I wanted to.

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