(Closed) Feeling stupid for being upset about this – so I come to the hive to vent!

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
46336 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tip for the future? Put large labels on bags in the garage. Obviously he really got into cleaning up and forgot what you told him.

It’s so much easier to avoid miscommunication that to deal with it after.

Post # 4
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Oh that’s so hard.. to be frustrated with someone who was trying to help, knowing you can’t fix it now, and doing damage control for the frustration in the first place. My only advice is to just let go of it: your friend could have used those clothes, but someone else who shops at Goodwill will also be able to use them. It’s okay.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Darling Husband has done this before too because I swear the mans favorite thing in the world is to throw stuff away, but he never does it purposefully so I make myself get over the anger quickly and just laugh about it. I make fun of his ‘trigger finger’ that throws everything in the garbage can, if I leave something lying out and take my eyes off it for two seconds it’s in the trash. He does make a point to ask me if things can be thrown out after a few of these mishaps, so now when it does happen I know it was an honest mistake.

I think the main thing is next time this happens, if you immediatley know there is no way to fix it (like you can’t go back to goodwill and ask for it back) then just laugh about it and make light fun of him.

Post # 6
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

this happened last week to me and Darling Husband too. He thought he was helping, but I was saving a few items for our friend’s little girl. i agree with @moderndaisy: if there’s nothing you can do right away, just let it go for both your sakes!

Post # 7
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@moderndaisy:  I’m not the only one!!! My husband LOVES throwing things away, too!

Post # 9
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This is so something I could see happening in our house.  I think I will use that tip also. 

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@oracle: this happens all of the time in my house.  I plan out my meals for 2 weeks and then get the groceries to coincide with the meals that I have planned. At least once a week Darling Husband will start to cook a meal for us when I’m not home, which usually means he’s used ingredients from other meals that I have planned. Usually too, it’s ingredients for 3 different meals and it undoes half a week of planned meals. I used to get so mad at him, yell and what not, all to apologize after, because he was trying to help me by cooking a meal and just letting me relax.  He still does this and doesn’t realize he’s even doing it because his heart forgets the last time we argued about it. Now I just let it go and enjoy the meal and stop at the store the next day to replace the items. Although it’s tough, I just want him to feel appreciated.

Post # 11
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Uh oh.  Keeping this in mind.  I’m used to my grandfather who loves to keep EVERYTHING, but he’s not a hoarder.  He just makes sure it’s something we could use or not before it’s trashed/taken to Goodwill.

Post # 13
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can see myself in your exact shoes. I think its more about the fact that maybe you feel like he wasnt listening to what your were saying. In fact Im sure he was but he had so much other stuff going on that he probably just got it mixed up. Honest mistake. Maybe do something really nice for him tonight or this weekend out of the blue if you are still feeling bad about how you reacted. Sometimes its hard to cut someone some slack and react without thinking. Im sure we have all done it!

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Haha–my husband was in such a cleaning-induced brain fog he accidentally threw away some of my tax papers that I needed to send to my accountant–oops! ๐Ÿ™‚

And @mtwitter80–can I ask why, if this scenario keeps repeating itself, do you continue to shop and plan meals the way you do? Could you cut back to shopping for one week at a time given that your hubby likes to cook sometimes too?

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