(Closed) Feeling stupid having a wedding but not a house

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m in the same spot but as long as you’re content that’s all that matters. Fiance and I are in an apartment and don’t really see a need for a house until we have kids (at least 5 years from now) so we’re perfectly happy with our living situation for now.

Post # 3
Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee

I get it. Darling Husband and I have lived in a small studio since the day we got married almost 2 years ago. I can’t wait until we have a house, but at the time it just wasn’t meant to be. We have money saved for a down payment now, and we’ll start looking in a few months.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  MrsWoods47.
Post # 4
Member
3036 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Just remember, you do have somewhere to live. Are you happy living there? Start putting money away for the downpayment, if you have saved alll the money you need for the wedding then you should be good starting to save for a house right now.

Post # 5
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Tbh 4 grand isn’t much in the way of downpayment. I would just move forward with the wedding considering your parents are paying for it then start saving for the house after. You can have both.

Post # 6
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I know more than a few married couples who rented and had a wedding and some that still rent.  There is nothing wrong with renting opposed to what a lot of people think.  There is nothing wrong with owning a home either, but it is a lot more money than just a monthly mortgage payment.  In the past 12 months alone, we have spent around $8000 more than our mortgage payment on our house doing improvements or fixing things.  If $4000 for your wedding looks like a lot, we spent $4000 on a repair because we found termites and water damage that we didn’t know we had. 

Post # 7
Bee
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

yeah $4k would pay, like, closing costs. You’re lucky that your parents are paying for everything. You should be able to save up $4k again pretty quickly if you put your mind to it.

But – if $4k is really ALL of your savings and you are spending it, I REALLY urge you to save 6 months worth of living expenses before buying a house. Heaven forbid you need it, but it’s not good to have no cushion. 

Post # 8
Member
4029 posts
Honey bee

KapOct18:  I will say, $4000 for invitations, flowers, attire and DJ seems a bit high. Are you including your dress in that cost? I don’t know your area, but we spent much less on those things. People have entire weddings for $4000.

I only say that because if you don’t have much in the way of savings at the moment and you want to start saving for a home, now is when you start making value decisions. If you DIY, make some sacrifices and decide what’s important, you could potentially take a portion of that $4,000 and put it in savings. Every day, you make choices about everything and the sum of those choices is what determines your financial well being.

Now, renting is not a bad thing at all, especially if you like where you live. But when Darling Husband and I decide we were finally ready to buy, we re-evaluated our expenses and started making those decisions. We out a little less, we cut back on trips for a while and we adjusted our budget. Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your budget and expenditures.

ETA: Regarding a down payment, $4000 is relative to your area and the home you are purchasing/your financing option. If you are purchasing a relatively inexpensive home and use an FHA loan which only requires 3% down, $4000 might be just fine. Also, in some states, like mine (Colorado), the purchaser rarely pays closing costs. In many cases, it’s the responsibilty of the seller to pay them in Colorado.

Post # 9
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

KapOct18:  I say make the most of your wedding since you aNnd your family have already committed to it financially. After the honeymoon, maybe sit down with your Darling Husband and stat crunching numbers so you guys can cut expenses and save more towards a downpayment?

Post # 10
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Cornucopia St. Charles

Not sure where you live and what is the practice there but in NY/NJ guests will always give money as a gift!  It can run the gambit from low to high, NJ folks give a lot less, my NY guests were spot on, but we did get a substantial amount of money, it paid for almost all of my venue cost.  Since you only paid $4000 and your parents paid the rest, you should make at least that back in gifts.  Unless, where you live this is not done.

just be happy in the moment your parents are awesome to help you, they don’t have to and that saved you a lot of money and you will have a wonderful memory there will be time for the house, trust me.   

 

Post # 11
Member
323 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t sweat it. Where I live, a downpayment is $100k at minimum, so I wouldn’t equate 4k with a purchasing a house. 

Post # 12
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

charlieb15:  that’s me and my fiancé too. 

We live in a tiny 600 square foot cottage and we have a storage unit for the rest of our stuff. Rent is cheap and I love the neighborhood and it doesn’t make sense to move until we have children. 

To OP, I think you should make the most of your wedding since your parents have already invested so much both financially and emotionally. I think its awesome tjat you have such generous parents. 

Post # 13
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Cornucopia St. Charles

bmo88:  it all depends on where you are from, I was thinking she got away scott free, my flowers cost us close to $4500 alone, our 7 piece band was $1800, only because they took off a few hundred because they were friends, my gown came in at $1500 including alterations,  and my husbands tux was free at men’s warehouse, when his groomsman rented theirs,  our venue $ 11,500.  Photographer was a friend at $500 but here in the northeast $3500 is typical just to take the pics.  Be thankful you’re in Colorado, everything here is quadruple but then so are our salaries.

Oh, And my first house I had to have $28,000 and my second was 38,000 Minimum!  

Post # 14
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

My Fiance wanted to have a house before we got engaged so we saved up like crazy and built a house. Just on the house this year we have spent probably 50-60k not including our mortgage payments, houses are so expensive!

I would say unless you have a chunk of changed saved up I wouldn’t jump into buying a house. The house buying process is much more expensive than you anticipate and having a big cushion is essential.

We are only eloping so hopefully not too much expense there but if we were planning a grand affair we probably have to have a longer engagement.

You’ll get there 🙂

Post # 15
Bee
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

Star66:  I wish! where I live, a $50 boxed gift for a couple is the norm. 

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