Post # 1
So SO has been looking at settings and stones, with the intention of customizing my ring. Problem is, he’s been keeping me in the dark about the process and going through my best friend. She asked me yesterday what kind of a stone I wanted, which I thought was odd. Turns out he’s been looking at sapphires the entire time, because I mentioned that I really liked Kate Middleton’s ring, and showed him a sapphire ring once. He brought it up to me and I told him that I’m afraid of the ring clashing with nail polish colors and clothes and I’d want to wear the ring every day. He told me he’d probably have to start the process all over again, but he just wants me to be happy. Am I being a pain in the behind? I really hate causing him grief over this. 🙁
Post # 3
I think this is such a difficult thing to work out. Because he hasn’t proposed yet, so you feel weird telling him what ring to buy making it look like you’re expecting it, but at the same time he needs guidance ultimately from you because he wants you to like it.
Honestly if I were you, I would sheepishly tell him that while you love sapphires, it is not what you always envisioned for an engagement ring. Give him your reasons for wanting a diamond (assuming that’s what you want) including how traditional they are, how they ‘go’ with everything and how beautiful you think they are in general. If you have specific cuts or style, try to mention that as well, but in a non-pushy way.
Post # 4
No, I think you’re handling the situation fine. You were honest with him.
The only reason he thought about getting you a sapphire in the first place was because he thought it would make you happy. Ring shopping is a learning experience; it is going to take time regardless if you change your mind a million times or if you know exactly what you want. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. The situation would be completely different if he couldn’t afford a diamond, so opted for a sapphire instead.
Keep your chin up =)
Post # 5
Thanks so much ladies! Your posts put me much more at ease. I really didn’t expect picking out a ring to be all that difficult. I know it’ll probably delay a proposal by a bit, but knowing that it’s in the works makes the timeline less important.
Post # 6
Picking out a ring IS very difficult! They cost the same as a car (no matter what size, there is a car that price), but unlike a car how they look matters a lot! And unlike a car you are going to be wearing it for life! To a guy, picking the wrong ring could mean that he doesn’t know his girlfriend well enough, he doesn’t want to upset her – there is so much pressure!
If your boyfriend is already talking to your best friend about it then wouldn’t the easiest thing to do be to talk to her about it? (If you’d rather keep it hush-hush, you could speak to him directly but I think he wants it to be more of a surprise) Good luck and have fun with it, this is the exciting part!
Post # 7
@Everdeen: Thanks! We chatted about the ring thing last night, and I told him that when we originally talked about engagement, I was honored to wear a ring from his family, but it means so much to me that I now get to wear something that he got for me, it means so much, because it came from him. So I told him that I want to wear the ring that he feels strongest about. I feel relieved doing that now, and I’m super excited to see what I get!