Post # 1
My wedding is in two days and I just can’t get excited about it. last sunday my brother (19) and my nephew (17) were in a really bad car accident. His car was hit by a drunk driver and flipped two times. My nephew was driving and only ended up with a few scapes and bruses. My borther however was in the passanger seat and his seatbelt broke. he was thrown out of the car through the window. The car landed just inches away from him which is lucky because it would have killed him instantly. My brother was rushed to the hospital in really rough shape. he had internal bleeding, a broken tail bone, and eight fractures in his pelvis. Sunday night he had surgery to stop the bleeding and then tuesday he had surgery to put plates and screws in his pelvis to stabalize it. On top of his major injuries, he had too many stitches to count as well as staples in his head and a back and butt covered in road rash. He is in so much pain. I have been spending time with him in the hopsital and it just breaks my heart to see him so sad and defeated. He cries every time he sees me and just tells me his is so sorry about ruining the wedding. I tell him over and over that it is not his fault and the wedding isn’t ruined but he is just so guilty.
There is no way he will be able to come to the wedding. I wanted to postpone the wedding, but my family won’t let me. They want me to have my day that I have been planning for over a year. We are working out a way for him to Skype into the wedding and we are also videotaping it. Since he will still be in the hospital, my parents will be able to come to the wedding just as planned. A bunch of my brother’s friends are going to go sit with him and watch the wedding with him through Skype so that he doesn’t have to be along.
Everything has been figured out. However, I am just no longer looking forward to it. Every time I think about the wedding and the fact that my brother won’t be there I just get too sad. I jut feel like I’m going to be too depressed to have fun and will have to fake it. I no longer want to have any family photos because I know he won’t be in them. The whole situation is just super depressing.
So I guess this is kind of a rant. Unless anyone has ever been in this situation and can give me some advice or reassurance.
Post # 3
I think at this point you have to count your blessings. That is not how you envisioned your wedding day to be- but your brother is alive and will recover- and that is something to celebrate! Have a wonderful wedding!
Post # 4
@MrsMath: You have to look at the bright side..he is alive and recovering.
My FMIL went through the same exact thing, her youngest brother got into a really bad car accident the day of her wedding! She didn’t find out until after the ceremony and of course some people had to leave and come back late for the reception. Her brother kept insisting people go to the wedding that this is her day.
It is sad that he was not able to attend but all she kept saying was thank God he is alive!
I will pray for your brother. 🙂
Post # 5
Will you have time to go to the hospital all dressed up on your wedding day to see your brother? I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry but so glad your brother is ok. You have to enjoy your day For your brother. He is going to feel guilty about this even more if you don’t enjoy your day. My grandfather nearly died minutes before my sisters wedding and missed it. Yes it put a huge damper on the day but once we knew he was ok we had to enjoy the day for him. He felt so awful and no one wanted that since it wasn’t his fault!
You only get one weddig and it flies by. Enjoy it!!!!!!!!!
Post # 7
I am thankful your brother is alive and recovering. I fully understand how upsetting this is – you wanted your brother to be there.
If nothing else, consider your wedding day part of the legal process. Afterward, when your brother is in better shape, maybe you can have a small renewal ceremony so he can be included.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry for you all, but is there any way you can do what @OtterHalf: suggested? I think that would make you feel less bad about not having him there. You could perhaps even bring the wedding party there for a group photo around the bed? Or if he’s in too bad shape for that, just go there with your new husband and leave the bouquet with him instead of just throwing it during the party?
Post # 9
I think it would be devastating if my brother couldn’t make it to my wedding, but with that said he is alive and will walk away from this. I know it’s so hard right now to think about anything else but he’s going to be ok! you might have to force yourself into ‘wedding mode’ and concentrate on the positives. If the roles were reversed and it was you in the hospital bed, I really don’t think you’d want him feeling sad that you couldn’t be there for his wedding, but happy that you’ll get to make lots more memories with him later on. I’m so sorry this happened, but im thankful that both men are going to be just fine! Your brother is alive and you get to marry your sweetheart… It’s going to be a good day!
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
What a blessing that he survived! Dont forget that!
My best friend got married last year, i was MOH. Her brother has some anxiety issues. 5 minutes before her ceremony, she found out he wasn’t going to show up to the wedding. He disappeared earlier in the day, and her dad couldn’t get in contact with him. He was fine, just off probably drinking and smoking weed somewhere. Anyway, bride & her brother have always been very close, and it hurt her really bad that he didnt make it. So she stood in the corner, let out some tears, decided she would deal with that later because now was the moment for her to marry the man of her dreams. She had a fabulous time, her brother checked in with her mom during the reception to at least let them know he was alive, and she went on with her wedding as planned. These type of things happen, and they totally suck, but we can’t stop our plans everytime something unplanned happens. Sounds like ya’ll have an awesome plan set up for him to still be able to watch the whole thing! Enjoy you & your FI day! Your brother will be celebrating it too!