(Closed) Feeling trapped in a wedding I don't want–advice, please!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

time to plan your elopement 😛

Post # 4
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MissPirouette:  Tell Fiance ALL of this. He loves you and wants you to be happy. He will understand.

Post # 5
40 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

You could do what we are doing! I wanted to get married an a beach just super close family (10 in total!) but My finace wanted a white wedding. We agreed to get married in italy and we are having about 60 people. 

However his mum is wanting to invite the world and isnt best pleased we are having a civil and not catholic! So we decided to stick to the wedding we want but have a blessing on our return…. She can invite who she likes and we are having a party after!! 

Maybe you could suggest to you Fiance an elopement NYC hall or Vegas and come back married and throw a monster party on your wedding date!! 

You only do it once and the meaning of your love will not differ from a large to a small wedding!! Do it how you want it…. If its getting to much just say you wanna call it off but will reschedule. We did that too… hahaha xxx

Post # 6
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Put your foot down. This is your and your fiance’s wedding. Period.

Post # 7
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just Say No!  I know it’s hard but it’s your wedding.  Talk to Fiance about it.  If he agrees with you then stand together and tell mom it’s going to be awkward for her when she has to explain to all these people she invited that she misspoke because you won’t be inviting anyone but close family and friends.  That being said I would only expect 60 or 70 of those invited will attend.  Is that number any better?  Maybe you could cut the guest list down to 75 in hopes of 50 coming?

Post # 9
63 posts
Worker bee

My daughter is getting married in Costa Rica next year….so romantic.

Tell your Fiance how you feel and start planning your destination wedding now!


Post # 10
40 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe you could minimise the wedding list and have a larger evening function to accommodate all the extras everyone wants to invite. If your all set on the wedding and dont wanna elope theres not much give!! Just put your foot down to new people. I dont envy your position. I snapped mine early so its all good… xx

Post # 12
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ugh, I’m sorry this is happening. I knew my family would invite way way way too many people, so to completely avoid this we planned a small destination wedding. Honestly, you need to take control and let everyone know how badly you want a small wedding and that its not their place to invite anyone.

Post # 14
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I hate attention on me, too. I hated the thought of showers, and would stay up nights worrying about opening presents in front of a bunch of women in DH’s family I’ve never met. (What if I don’t like the present? Will it show on my face? What if I love something more, will it show?) I worried for months about saying vows in front of people. We went with a small destination wedding (less than 30 guests)

I agree with the PP…it’s your wedding, your guest list.

Post # 15
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@MissPirouette:  I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful or not (because I was so upset by it), but I had about 150 people at my wedding, and, due to time contraints, picture taking, etc. I barely was able to speak with any of them.

Almost the only people I was able to interact with that day were my bridesmaids; my dad, because I danced with him; my DH; my photographer and videographer; the venue coordinator assigned to me; and the very small number of people with whom I was able to interact while Darling Husband danced with his mother. I didn’t even get to speak with my own mother until after the reception!

Just because your have a large group of people at your wedding does not mean that you will end up having an opportunity to interact with them. In my case, I desperately wish I could have and have tearfully regretted not being able to do so; in your case, you may be comforted by the fact that you may not have time to engage them.

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