Feeling ugly

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

I cannot relate, but I think you might just be doubting it unnecessairly. Nobody is going to think you look awful! Your brother is a man, and they don’t know dresses (usually) and the co-worker just sounds picky. When you are about to marry your beautiful wife, you are going to be wearing the biggest smile, and that is what people will remember about your look. I just come from the train of thought that there is no such thing as an ugly bride! 

Post # 3
5249 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Just to give you some perspective, it is likely that you brother just doesn’t care about any dress, even your wedding dress and it has nothing to do with how it looks or how it looks on you!

And why did you even show the photo to a random colleague?!  

It sounds like all your friends love it and you loved it when you picked it, that is all that is important!

I’m sure your dress is amazing, feel free to post it here! 

Post # 4
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Oh no! Do not feel ugly bee! Kick those thoughts to the curb!

I’m sure you have a very lovely dress. I wouldn’t judge what to do off 2 peoples reactions. I would judge it off of what you feel in your heart. If you feel you look your best in your gown, then go for it.

On the other hand if you’re feeling like you bought it because you were pressured and you feel maybe the dress is not what you dreamed of and maybe settled, then its worth it to look for a different one. Not sure if you would be open to this but online they sell used designer wedding dresses that you can order and return after 5 days if you don’t like it and trunk shows running at local shops are another option (I got mine that way!). 

For the record I was also very anxious about walking down the aisle. The only way I did it was to smile my biggest smile and literally not take my eyes off hubs from the moment I entered the room. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t react to anyone or look at anyone else. That game plan worked amazingly. I knew once we were up there, together, that I could make it through the rest of the day easily.

Post # 5
123 posts
Blushing bee

I think a lot of people have second thoughts when looking back at pictures from dress shopping.  Those pictures are not going to have good lighting and the dress hasn’t been tailored to fit you.  On your wedding day you will have your hair and makeup all done and be feeling happy/glowing so it will look a lot better.  If you are really self conscious about your arms and back those are fairly easy things to work on with self tanner and yoga.  I’m sure no one else would notice a difference but it might make you feel better.  

Post # 6
2653 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
gingerlyme :  tbh I just pounded back a few glasses of wine before walking down the aisle. I recommend that.

Post # 8
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
gingerlyme :  I am sure you look beautiful. I would love to see a photo, if and when you feel comfortable sharing. I had a big wobble about my dress after my Mum made some comments at my first fitting, I was ready to scrap my dress and photographer, but then I tried it on again the other day and realised I do indeed look nice in it. 

Post # 9
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I ordered a dress on Poshmark for $30. It’s from DB and is new with tags. It fits, I guess. I feel like I got lucky that it’s close to my size. It’s too big in the boobs and a little long, which leaves me feeling short and flat chested. I really don’t have more in my budget for a more expensive dress. I do plan on some alterations closer to the day. I understand how you feel ❤️

If you feel comfortable sharing a pic in the dress I’m sure we can reassure you. 

Post # 10
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you open to showing your fiancé and getting her opinion? I know that’s not traditional but maybe she could give you some reassurance.

I highly doubt anyone attending your wedding will make rude comments or criticize what you look like and if they would then maybe they shouldn’t be there, you know? They should all be supportive of you and your fiancé.

This is your day and you should feel nothing short of beautiful. Don’t doubt yourself!

Post # 11
3804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

People will think you look lovely! Honestly. 

I’m sure the dress is beautiful, but if you want sleeves you could potentially look at boleros or capes?

Post # 12
2971 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

View original reply
gingerlyme :  you had two friends react with enthusiasm. Your brother was meh but he’s a dude – does he give a shit about a dress or even notice how one looks opposed to another? And the woman with the mean response only commented on the veil not the dress or how you look in it. Plus you said she is kind of mean in general. 

I’d take those responses all together to mean you look great in the dress!! 

You are aware of your perception issues and that’s good! I think you know that is exactly what is going on here. You’re overthinking and over criticizing.

I hope that when the day comes you feel happy and veaubeaut and don’t think so much about the things you dislike on yourself. Your fiance finds you attractive and will think you are absolutely stunning on your wedding day. 

Post # 13
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

A woman at a dress shop told me this happens all the time. Brides love a dress. Take Pictures and look at them later and hate it. Come back in store and try it on again and love it. It has to do with light and poor angles of the camera phone!

Post # 14
819 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lgrand519 :  I definitely think this can be the case. I am very critical and nitpicky about my body and how clothes fit on me, yet I immediately loved the way my dress looked on me in the shop, even though it was too big and not hanging on me quite right.

My mom took some pictures and sent them to me saying, “These don’t really show how good you looked though.” And it was true; I looked fine in the photos, but if the dress had looked on me in person how it appeared in the photos I wouldn’t have been as certain about it. But I knew that would be the case when I was in the shop, because I rarely like how I look in photos.

So I knew that when the dress arrives in my size I will think it looks great in person again. And for my wedding I don’t care how I look in photos as long as I’m confident in how I look in the moment.

Post # 15
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I am 100% sure if you posted the pic you would get nothing but lovely comments of reasurance from the bees as I am positive it is all in your head. I went through similar feeling, I spent months in sheer anxiety over my dress because i too suffer from Body dismorphia and it sucks. However I attended the wedding of my friend and you now what, she could have walked down that aisle in a bin bag and I would have  still commented on how beautiful and radiant she was. The love shone from her, her smile was so huge and warm it was beautiful to see. People put so much pressure on the dress and finding THE dress but at the end of the day yeah people will say lovely dress but what they will remember is how you looked, your face, your smile, as you marry the love of your life.

So please, don’t panick and hey you can always alter or wear little cape, to cover  your arms. 

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