- 3 years ago
OP~ it really comes across to me that you haven’t quite accepted your disability yourself; you are projecting what other people think of you based on the fact that you use a wheelchair…. but we both know that doesn’t make you (or anyone else that uses a wheelchair, crutches, etc) any less competent than anyone else.
RE: the counseling…. we all take our cars in for a tune up, we all go to the dentist for preventative care… why not speak to someone about your thoughts? You don’t have to sign up for a decades worth of appointments, but a few sessions really couldn’t hurt anyone! It’s been helpful for me, and I think I have more insight now than I would have had I not gone.
FWIW… my college roomate had a spinal cord injury and used a wheelchair,…. but it didn’t stop her from living her life. She did triathalons, skiied, you name it. So what if you need help in getting things from the top shelf in the grocery store? I often accept help unloading groceries in my car for no reason other than it makes it go faster. It’s certainly no sign of weakness. My roomate was hilarious and would buy these killer shoes with amazingly high heels and would make these crazy comments about how she didn’t actually have to walk in them and she didn’t know if they pinched her feet!
Re: your in laws. I am betting that they just want to help out and it has nothing to do with your disability, you or your dh’s earnign potential, your relationship… nada. I have 2 kids myself and of course I want them to be independent, self sufficient adults with a good work ethic. But that said…. if I had the means to buy them a car or take them on vacation, I would! why not? Also…. there are enough stories here on the bee about horrrible MIL’s. If your FI’s mom wants to buy you a dress, you can be sure she wants to do it because she cares for you. My son is only 10 but if he finds a wonderful woman who loves him, is good to him and makes him happy…. I would be so relieved! that’s what I want in a daughter in law. I would be happy to buy her a dress if I had the means to do it. I bet they really want you to feel accepted by their family and I would hate to think that their efforts to try and include you and make you feel part of their family are being interpreted as anything other than that.