Post # 1
I’m new here and thought I’d stop by for some advice.. Well actually to offload a little.
My boyfriend of 3 years (who has been my best friend for almost 15!), proposed to me on Christmas Day! It was totally unexpected and I was very shocked as we had both said we weren’t going down the marriage route. But I was so pleased he asked me and said yes 🙂
Now I do admit to going a little overboard since then, looking at dresses, picking out possible venues, making up a guest list, flower ideas etc. We have almost 18 months before the wedding, but a) I’M EXCITED! And b) I know venues can book up very quickly.
Anyway, aside from looking half heatedly at a couple if outfit suggestions I found for him, he doesn’t seem interested in doing any of the planning.
I know he will, eventually, but I feel sort of saddenened that he went all out to propose but isn’t as excited as I am about the rest.
Is this normal? Do all ladies have to bug their guys into action? I really don’t want it to be that way 🙁 Feel like if he doesn’t get a little more pro-active I’m going to say let’s just go back to being boyfriend/ girlfriend since Inever asked for this anyway!
Of course I won’t do that…
I’m just venting a little.
Thanks for listening xxx
Post # 3
@sammygal: Relaxxxx. You still have a lot of time to plan. He probably is just wanting to celebrate the engagement first. My SO has been pretty hands off so far, unless I ask for his help or something. I think its generally assumed the bride does most of the wedding planning
Post # 4
So this is fairly normal? I’m just worrying because my parents live abroad and I don’t have many close female friends, so I am literally going to be doing this alone and it’s a scary prospect. It killed my buzz a little when over the last couple of days I’ve chatted to his mum and one of our friends quite a bit about the wedding and he rolled his eyes at our “girl talk” and wanted no part in it. Of that’s how it’s going to be for the next 18 months I’m not sure I can handle it 🙁
Post # 5
@sammygal: Congrats, first of all. Second, you have quite a long time to plan still. Third, men generally aren’t going to get excited nless it concerns them so to even go look at outfits, favors, venues, DJs–just no. It may not be his thing. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry you or that you aren’t important. It may just mean its not his type of thing or the wedding isn’t as important as the marriage.
DH was pretty hands off (meaning I picked everything out and gave him choices or asked if he liked this or that) until I got overwhelmed and gave him “the list” a few months out from the wedding. That’s when he started to help.
I would just try to enjoy the engagement right now. Start with your big stuff-venues, photogs, DJ- and then revisit the outfit suggest for him. He won’t need to order until about 6 weeks before the wedding typically anyway.
Post # 6
Now… Calm down lol. It’s been all of a week! Actually it’s pretty likely he WON’T eventually get interested in planning. Maybe a few aspects that are important to him but for MOST men, the little details of a wedding are boring. If you want him to make sure he is involved in something and does something, eventually you can give him a job. My husbands main priority was to find and book the honeymoon and do all the research, as well as to come up with possible songs for the reception. The best people to share your excitement with, and all of your ideas right now is your girlfriends and your mom. Pinterest is your friend! And the bee 🙂
Also 18 months is quite a stretch, to him it probably might as well be 5 years! you’ll also likely change your mind quite a few times sabout feel and what you ultimately want to do so no need for him to get involved enough to make decisions at this point.
Post # 7
I agree just enjoy being engaged instead of jumping right into wedding planning.FWIW I’m a little jealous that you got an unexpected proposal and your FI is fine with you doing ALL the planning lol
Post # 8
Thank you ladies for your kind and sane words 😀 I’m a but of an obsessive planner and I think I am just going a little ott too soon. We have an appointment booked to see a venue this weekend, and we did chat a little after I posted this. He admitted he had started to feel a bit overwhelmed, but he IS interested and will help. He’s going to research caterers when he gets chance. So it’s a start 🙂
ps pinterest is AMAZING. Discovered it the other day 🙂
Post # 9
@sammygal: I just got engaged 6 days ago! My FI won’t even discuss a date yet!! I’m a little sad too! I always thought I’d like a couple of months to enjoy the engagemebt, but everyone’s asking me for a date! I don’t have one! At least you have a date!!