(Closed) Feeling upset… advice please

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@future_mrsk4: If their wedding was a week before yours, I’d say your feelings are valid, but 2 months is a pretty sizable gap.

I think any way you approach this you will probably come off as a bit of a brat.

You get one day for your wedding not the whole year.

I’m sorry you are feeling this way, but 2 months seems like more than enough time between weddings. Also, since they told you so early, you can start saving for their wedding now as well.

Post # 5
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Honestly, it’s impossible to please everybody when you’re planning a wedding, so I think they have every right to make the decisions that are going to make THEM happy.  It’s not their fault you had such a long engagement….I’m sure they don’t want to wait any longer ot get married…they at least chose a date a few months after yours….and if destination is what they want, well, quite honestly, there will always be somebody somewhere at some time you cannot afford to go to a destination wedding, no matter when it’s scheduled. 

I can understand that your fiance might be upset that he may miss his bro’s wedding…that’s something he’ll have to figure out.  I don’t really think it would be fair to “talk” to them, other than to let them know that you’re excited for them but probably won’t be able to afford to go…then THEY can decide if they still want to stick with those plans.

Post # 6
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011


*Hugs* I really do not think they did that on purpose. I am a bit passive so I would not bring it up unless they start complaining about people not wanting to attend. I would then remind them that people may not have had to funds to attend and then use your life as an example.

Is there a way right now you and your Fiance can put aside $50 a month? I know that Southwest offers Take Me Away tickets for cheap if you buy them months out. How far away is the wedding from your hometown?

It will work out. You never know. This far out they may change their minds


Post # 7
1231 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t sound like they have any set plans yet, they are just throwing out a timeline. And they may decide against a Destination Wedding of they want lots of family there. I don’t really know what you would say if you sat down to talk about it, or what it would solve.

Post # 8
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would talk have your FI talk to his brother in a couple of weeks to let him know that it maybe financially impossible for you guys to come since your both graduating and your own wedding.  If he doesn’t feel comfortable then discuss w/ a parent.  It could just be an oversight.  People get excited and provide a date but yet haven’t gone through all the planning. 

Post # 9
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Fiance and I have skipped over some longer planners. We really wanted to get married this fall and have planned our wedding in 9 months. I have a few friends that I skipped over (who’s weddings are in the fall or later than ours), but I think that’s really common if you plan a wedding with over a year out.

There’s a time for everything and everyone will still see and appreciate your wedding.

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