(Closed) Feeling very shut out :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your Fiance needs to grow a set and tell his family that you are a couple and that he will not tolerate your not being invited.

What kind of man  who is already engaged and living with his Fiance allows hsi family to treat his loved one like this?

Post # 4
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012
Post # 5
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow…this whole situation is just wrong in so many ways.  I agree with julies1949…he should be sticking up for you!  You are now his family too, and the way he is allowing them to treat you is repulsive.  I’d be so hurt if my husband had been told that he had to “pretend like he was single.”  WTH?!?!?

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This almost seems fake, it seems to harsh and so unreal that 1. someone could treat someone they love this way and 2. someone would be so accepting of it (you!)

 

This is so wrong in so many ways…its awful and i really feel for you! I have such a hard time getting my brain around the fact that his family would treat you and any other significant other like this…i dont know how you do it.

Have you talked to your Fiance about this, does he know how you feel? Im so sorry to hear this….i dont want to tell you leave your fiance but if i was in your situation i would be heading for the hills…. his parents behavious is enexcusable but whats worse is he is ALLOWING it to happen.

Post # 7
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Something about his behavior seems odd to me.  Are you certain that what he is telling you about his family is true?  Did something happen in the past that led to a rift between you and his family?

Specifically, these statements you made about his behavior seem super shady.

He is always being invited to his parents house or to things in his hometown and I am not allowed to go with him. Even if he’s meeting with friends, we must not be seen together so I cannot go

and 

He will go first thing in the morning and I will be left at home crying my heart out until the early hours of the next morning

Sorry if I am completely off base, but I would never tolerate this from my Fiance.

Post # 9
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sent from my Android

either this is fake or we are missing ALOT of the story….. because this NUTS!

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@shutout: how bad would it be if you just went to the wedding? (etiquette rules aside)

Post # 11
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Is this some kind of religious or cultural tradition? I’m confused why ANYONE would put up with this and for 2 years! My SO was ready to intro me to his parents after 6 weeks of dating! There seems to be a lot missing from what you’re sharing.

Post # 12
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I could not stand to remain in a relationship like the one you’re in.  Do what feels right in your heart, but I’m just telling you from an outsider’s point of view that you’re being treated like crap.  He needs to be a MAN and stand up to his family and let them know that he loves you and plans to make you his wife, whether they like it or not.  If they disown him, he shouldn’t care because they’re ridiculous.  He’s a grown man.  Why does he have to pretend to be single?  I really, really am so confused about this.  Do you really want to be married into this total and absolute ridiculousness?

Post # 13
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OK so let me get this straight…when you get married soon are you supposed to have popped up out of nowhere? Because if he has been “single” all this time where did marriage come in? It almost seems to me (please don’t take this wrong) that there is someone else involved…why would he need to leave you for a whole day and night when he goes to see his family? This just does not make sense to me and I would have been long gone, so sorry. Frown

Post # 15
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Your fiance needs to step up and tell his family and friends that you two intend to be married so that now makes you a unit. He should not allow his friends or family make you feel this way. The fact that he’s had you put up with not being included for so long is incredibly disresepctful and the fact that he pretends to be single at social events makes my stomach turn.

Post # 16
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I was also wondering if there is some sort of cultural or religious reason why you can not be seen with him, are being ostracized by his family, etc. 

For your own sake you should seriously reassess the dynamics of your relationship with these people. The way your Fiance and his family are acting is NOT healthy or normal!

The topic ‘Feeling very shut out :(’ is closed to new replies.

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