(Closed) Feeling…not resentful, but…dissappointed?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Did you guys talk about this BEFORE he signed up for a school? That would have been the appropriate time to discuss it since you would have known then how you feel now.

I don’t have much advice, except that you need to do what is best for you. Don’t assume you can never go back to school, but you do have to look at the fact that after marriage you may want kids. But IMO I wouldn’t give up your education…

I would talk to him again, especially if you feel your education is being put on the back burner to accomodate his. He needs to know that you may plan on giving up an important part of who you want to become.

I just can’t really get over the fact that this wasn’t discussed to its full potential when he mentioned he wanted to go to school out-of-state. This is something I would have hashed out immediately before getting married as it can cause many problems in the future if you are unhappy.

Post # 5
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is there a college or university in the state he is going to that you can transfer your credits there?

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Is there any way you can go to a different grad school in state to finish your degree and try to do it part time while you’re working? This is what my Darling Husband did while we both worked FT. It’s hard work, but definitely doable. I guess I don’t understand why you have to go to an out of state school?

Post # 7
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why don’t you finish your schooling somewhere cheaper in the area you’ll be in?  Maybe I missed something, and I’m sorry if I did.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry if this is harsh, but why should YOU have to put your school on hold when HE doesn’t?!?!  You’ve already been in school, so why can’t you finish first and then he can go to med school?  It’s totally unfair that you should have to put your school on hold when he doesn’t, imo.

 

Post # 12
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I guess your only options is to either shell out the extra money for the classes back in your home state and continue persuing the education you want or to drop it until you and Fiance can get money ahead and go back to school then.

It’s a toughy and def. something that was overlooked. There has to be grants and scholarships that you guys can apply for to help with schooling, especially if your GPA is so high. Also, maybe sit down and budget out what your basic living expenses will be and how much school would cost. You may find you can’t have any luxuries, but at least you could still go to school.

Post # 13
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Beckster329:  You said it when I couldn’t lol. +1 to this essentially. He could work, put you through school, and then you can do the same back?

Post # 15
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Am I benig selfish?  Is he?

I think you both are being selfish, but you also both SHOULD be. Your education is going to be what gets you to where you want to be, and it’s so important you  both have the chance to realise those goals, or this resentment you are feeling now is only going to grow.

You need to tell him how you feel, because what you are saying is absolutely 150% valid. You are making an absolutely HUGE sacrifice here, and I know if it were me and I felt that wasn’t being acknowleged, it would make me angry. You’re not doing it for “points” or praise, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get it!

My only question is, if you tell him how you feel and he says everything you want to hear is that going to be enough, or are you going to feel like he said because you asked him to? I only ask that because I know that would  be what I would think, and that would actually upset me more! (Guys can’t win, can they? lol)

Post # 16
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsDrRose612:  Does anyone live in your current state that you could use their address as your permanent address for school enrollment so that you can stay at your school (seen as it’s online) and finish?

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