- 4 years ago
Regular bee posting under this name because I’m far to ashamed to post under my real username.
Let me first start off by saying I’m married and have been so for 3 years this July. My husband and I were married kind of young but we had such chemistry with each other that we didn’t feel like we’d ever drift apart. Unfortunately I’ve found myself in a emotional situation that I don’t know what to do with. My husband is a great guy. He’s smart, caring, loving, and is a great provider for the both of us. He bends over backwards for people all the time and genuinely cares about people in general. I can say with the most sincere honesty that he would do anything for me- and he has. He’s given me everything I’ve ever wanted in life and continues to do so every day.
I feel so incredibly stupid and guilty for even feeling this way but the truth is, I’ve been thinking/having feelings for another guy. What makes me feel REALLY ridiculous is the guy I’m thinking about, I haven’t seen in several years. Lets call him Will. Will and I never dated but he was an almost relationship. We really enjoyed each other’s company and wanted to be together but it just wasn’t the right time. He had a sort of relationship with an on again off again girl that he’d known since he was younger. I was involved with someone else that I shouldn’t have been but at the end of the day, we had amazing chemistry and he gave me the most intense feelings when we were together. To put a long story short, I moved a town over and we slowly drifted apart. Then I met my husband and we dated for 3 years before getting married and I never thought of Will during that time.
Lately, I’ve been having dreams of Will, thinking about Will, stalking his facebook page, and just overall imagining ourselves together and what it would be like. Why am I feeling like this? More importantly, why am I feeling like this when I have such a great husband who used to make me feel the same way? Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but I feel like it’s a evolved to a different kind of love and it terrifies me. All kinds of thoughts are swirling through my head like did I marry the wrong person? Am I a bad person for feeling like this? Why can’t I just appreciate the wonderful man I already have and will these feelings ever pass?
I really need some advice here. I don’t know why all of a sudden I’m having these thoughts or feelings about someone I haven’t even seen recently. What does it all mean?
Thank you for reading.