Post # 1
I feel really hurt and stupid right now and I just need to vent. My mom is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she threw me a bridal shower yesterday. I had a guest list of 35 people and only 7 showed up. That’s including one of my mom’s friends and my bridesmaid’s mom and sister. Not only did no one else show up but they didn’t even bother to RSVP. One of my bridesmaids even changed her mind and left right when the party started 🙁
I’ve been to every shower, housewarming party, birthday, etc. for everyone on my list when I was invited. I buy them gifts and make it a point to go because I know how important it is. A couple of years ago my fiance was in a wedding for a couple and the guy is a groomsman in our wedding. I was unable to attend her bridal shower because I had had major surgery and couldn’t even sit up. But I know how important a bridal shower is to the bride so I had a friend drive me to the store her registry was at and bought her gifts even though I was completely broke from being out of work. I even had to wear an adult diaper for crying out loud because of the surgical site. I just knew that she would come to mine but she didn’t even acknowledge she had received an invitation.
I spent $250 on a custom dress so I would feel special at my bridal shower but I didn’t even wear it because I knew people wouldn’t come. Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time at the shower and my mom did a wonderful job putting it together. I really appreciate the girls that did come to celebrate with me but I just feel so hurt that so many of them didn’t even bother. I understand that people have other things to do, or maybe they just didn’t want to come but am I not worth even a response? I would never treat someone that way and it makes me really sad that most of my guest list felt I wasn’t important enough to bother with.
I feel like the kid that gets picked last on the playground. The girl that nobody likes. Maybe I’m overreacting but I can’t help but take it personally that I was completely ignored. I really want to post on facebook so they all know how bad they made me feel but I don’t know if it will do any good or if they’ll just laugh at me. I just want them to understand what it did to me that they didn’t even RSVP.
Has this happened to anybody else? Am I overreacting? Should I let my feelings be known?
As for my bridesmaid I don’t know what to do…right now I just want to kick her out of the wedding and never speak to her again. It’s going to cause major problems if that happens (she’s the teenage daughter of the best man) but I just don’t know how to deal with her. I’ve gone out of my way to do things for her including spending $90 to get her prom dress altered because she just had to have one that was too small and too short. I thought bridesmaids were supposed to be there for you and help you with stuff but that just isn’t happening.
If I’m being irrational please tell me!
Post # 3
Was your bridal party yesterday (Sunday, March 31)? Because if it was, I think a lot of people didn’t show up because it was Easter Sunday. And that’s kind of a bad day to have a party to celebrate anything except maybe Jesus.
I’m sorry you’re hurt. I would be too. Especially if you go out of your way for everyone else.
Honestly, I feel it shows who your real friends are. If people don’t make you a priority, then you need to get your priorities straight too maybe.
Sorry you’re bummed, kiddo. 🙁
Post # 4
Oh sorry, I haven’t been to bed yet so I was still thinking it’s Sunday. It was Saturday March 30th.
Post # 5
Easter weekend is a really bad time to plan something like this. Most people are either out of town, or have family in town.
Post # 6
Gahh I would be super hurt. But don’t post it on FB… it just starts drama and makes you look like the ‘bad’ one
Post # 7
I’m sorry, this really sucks!
It sucks not having people show up to your shower.. I have a fear that this will happen to me. I actually dont WANT a shower because I’m not really close to any of my family, and don’t have many friends [not for lack of trying, I guess I just pick awful friends – drug addicts, thieves, what have you]. I feel like it’s a waste of time. But my mother is insisting on throwing one.
As for the bridesmaid.. are you close to her? Hang out often? Perhaps you should initiate a girls day out, during so you can include her in everything and keep her on the same page. Or, if there’s something specific you need help with, discuss it then.
I think that weddings do either bring people together, or tear them apart. They bring out the best and worst in many people.
Post # 8
I am sorry so few people showed up, but being Easter weekend they probably had other plans.
Post # 9
Regardless of Easter plans, people should have RSVP’ed.
Hope you feel better soon.
Post # 10
I had the same thing happen to me – not a single one of my friends came to my shower, though I was lucky to have 7 of my family members and mum’s friends there so at least it wasn’t a total disaster! I felt devastated at the time, and like no one cared about me at all. I’m starting to feel like maybe younger people can be a bit anti-shower?
In any case, at my actual wedding everyone was wonderful and were all thrilled to be there, so the sadness before the shower is long gone. I have heard of this happening to quite a lot of people, so I think it’s just a shower thing and nothing to do with you. Try not to feel too sad, and just focus on the wedding from now on 🙂
Post # 11
That is sad. There are a lot of selfish and rude people about, I have met a few! I think it might be time to reassess your relationships with some of these people. It sounds like you are often there for these people, only for them to let you down. Hang on to those people in your life who will always come through for you, and don’t waste time on the others. I would rather have one true friend, then a bunch of acquaintances who don’t consider your feelings.
If Easter plans did get in their way, they should have at least RSVP’d.
Post # 12
Aw, I’m so sorry they behaved like that. I would be hurt and p*ssed off too; at the very least they could have bothered to RSVP.
I’ve now learned that my group of friends is flakey at best so I have stopped expecting them to treat my gatherings with much interest but I know how much it hurts when you thought people actually gave a damn.
I agree that nothing good will come off posting on Facebook, but I don’t think it would be out of line to have a private chat with the bridesmaid where you explain why her actions hurt you. Same goes for any really close friends who didn’t show up/RSVP.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I don’t really have any advice or suggestions but I am so so sorry that so many people let you down like that. Something I learned was that people will never be as considerate of you as you are to them.
Hope you feel better soon x
Post # 15
So nothing good might come out of posting it on Facebook – except getting it off your chest. If that happened to me I post that sh*t ll over the place, but I’m spiteful like that. At the absolute very least I think you need to talk to you friends so you aren’t holding a grudge. And why did you ask the best mans teenage daughter to be a BM? Are you particularly close or was it ‘just because’. Teenagers are usually a handful. But I wouldn’upset too upset with her for leaving, she’s just a kid and doesn’t know about etiquette and the rest of the wedding bs just yet.
Post # 16
That sucks 🙁 I would think it must have something to do with it being Easter weekend, but that doesn’t excuse not RSVPing. Also, Easter or not, if you went through all of that inconvenience to get your friend a gift for her party after having surgery I would think she would at least acknowledge your’s – even if just with an RSVP saying she couldn’t make it.
I wouldn’t post on Facebook though just because I think that is a little passive aggressive, but I would directly talk (even if through a PM on FB) to a few of your friends just to find out what happened and why they didn’t RSVP. I have a feeling a lot of people won’t be coming to mine because its on Memorial Day weekend, but I would expect them to at least RSVP!