(Closed) Feelings on Strippers and Bachelor parties

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

well given that it is his bachelor party… his friends probably paid… but thats beside the point… you love him? you trust him? well there it is. i dont mind strippers and lap dances as long as a line is not crossed…. that being said. i can see why youre upset about him not calling…. i would just ask him about his night… hell prolly come right out and tell you about it… at least my fi would 🙂 that might put your mind at ease! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@stephanie63087: It’s not his bachelor party, it looks like.

OP: I would be upset if I was in your shoes too… try to get your mind off it. Go shopping, do something fun, hang out with friends whatever, but try not to think about it too much. Trust him. Surely he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. When he gets back, try not to make too big a deal out of it. If your curious about what happened, ask him and he should be open with you. If he did get a lap dance and whatever… you can express that that hurts you, but what’s done is done and making a big fuss will just stress things. (This only applies if you did not have a previous agreement concerning strippers. If he broke a promise to you despite how you feel, than he needs a talking to.) Just try to be rational and even though it probably bugs you a lot, don’t blow it too far out of proportion. It could hurt your relationship.

Post # 5
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@DeathByDesign: oh i guess i overlooked that! sorry! i might be a bit irked about that too!

Post # 6
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d confront him if you guys had an agreement about no strippers…otherwise, there’s not much you can do except tell him why you’re upset. =/ Big hugs…I wouldn’t be cool with it.

Also, talk to him about his BIG double-standard. That’s unfair.

Post # 7
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the PP. I’ll also add that I’m 110% against strip clubs and porn… however, this is what we’ve discussed and come to an understanding. This is the kind of thing I feel needs to be laid out ahead of time. i.e. “Hey hun, I know you have this bachelor party this weekend, I just wanted to talk to you about______________ and how I feel about __________.” If it’s not laid out before, it’s OK to be disappointed, but you can’t really flame him for it… 

Post # 10
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Nola: Well the fact that he lied about being with strippers is upsetting. That to me shows he knew it would upset you, but did it anyway and hoped he wouldn’t get caught. I would definitely confront him. For now though I really think you should go somewhere and let off some steam. Sitting at home without him is only going to make it feel worse 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

This would really upset me a lot, and reading your updated post just made me even more upset! I agree that calling while he is away is not a good idea and I too would try and distract myself (although honestly, that would be completely impossible for me).

It seems you are close to you Future Brother-In-Law – would you be able to speak to him about this? To me this isn’t about trusting or not trusting your FI; it is about his being disrespectful of your expressed feelings about the situation.

 

Post # 13
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Nola: Well maybe do something you can do by yourself? Do you have a hobby you can keep yourself busy with? Is there anyone you could call? Any local mall or shopping center you can shop at solo?

Post # 14
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Pedicures! Is there a nail salon near you?

Post # 15
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think the whole thing is just plain dissrespectful ,, we wont be doing that ,, It makes no sence I love this person with all my heart so lets look at other people? Lusting over somone else is cheeting … Let these things slide more will follow.

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