(Closed) Feelings… (or lack there of)…..

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
10223 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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thethinkerbee :  

This may seem like an odd question, but are you taking any SSRIs or other mood altering meds?  Some can have a major effect on your ability to feel attachments.  Do your emotions feel somewhat blunted in general, or only toward your husband?

Post # 3
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee

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thethinkerbee :  or similarly to what 
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sassy411 :  says, birth control? Certain hormonal birth controls can make you feel extreme lack of libido and can severely mess with your emotional state. Could that be it for you?

Post # 4
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

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sassy411 :  I was thinking the same exact question…

Post # 5
Member
540 posts
Busy bee

If you don’t have a medical reason for feeling this way.. wouldn’t it be fair to split so your husband can find someone who genuinely has feelings for him? 

Post # 6
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I mean this in the nicest way. Please end this relationship. 

You deserve to find love. He deserves to find someone who loves him. It would be one thing if this started a few months ago, but if you have been feeling this way for years -and, if I am reading your post correctly, by this you mean almost 4 years or more- I don’t think anything will change. While I agree that love is a choice, I also believe there are some things that go beyond a mere mindset to love someone (biology, intuition, etc.)

You both seemed to have tried everything and still, you don’t love him. I would say the best you can do for yourself is to end this now and stop prolonging it. Will it hurt? Yes. But wouldn’t it hurt more to keep on dragging it until you’re both filled with regrets and resentment?

Post # 8
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

Just commenting to say I’m kind of in the same boat. Its not been years .. But its like everything has turned off feelings wise. 

Post # 9
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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thethinkerbee :  I’ve been there, it is absolutely heartbreaking. My advice is to try counseling before making a decision to walk away. But if at that point you still feel the same, don’t drag it out any longer. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to him.

Post # 11
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

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thethinkerbee :  I was just going to ETA to say that if your feelings are overal mutted (including those not-husband related) you might want to go to therapy again, by yourself. It could be some neurological imbalance or a mental illness which is making you feel this way.

Post # 12
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

People grow apart. People change. Relationships change. It could very well be time to move on, but before you decide that, Id go back to counseling one more time both individual and couples, therapy can be a safe space to say ‘you know, this isn’t working for me anymore’.

I may have missed this in your post, but have you talked to him about this? 

Post # 13
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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funnyfox :  good point. 

Definitively see a doctor just for yourself.

Are you happy with your life, aside from your marriage? Do you feel fulfilled in your job, with your family and social life? Do you have hobbies, passions, interests? Sometimes a general sense of great unhappiness isn’t because of our relationship but because of a lack of joy from life in general.

Post # 14
Member
6 posts
Newbee

I could have written this post myself. unfortunately I don’t have any advice though

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