(Closed) feelings that i know i shouldn’t have….*kindda long**

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i think you might be a little jealous.  just because you didnt have a big, traditional wedding, doesnt mean that your marriage isnt valid and meaningful.  i think youre feeling a bit inadequate and maybe youre letting that create some tension and hard feelings.  i get that you are just venting, but i really think you should just drop it.

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

this sounds uber jealous.  You are making it seem like yours wasn’t as good as hers. If you wanted the bbq then own it and let it go.

Post # 6
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Baby_PebbleS: It sounds like you think highly of your girlfriends and put them on a pedestal. I honestly don’t think they value your friendship very much. What friend talks about your wedding plans and says it’s not real? They are not your friends. Tell those haters to go kick rocks. 

I’m sure your ceremony and BBQ rocked and you and your SO had a great time. 

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m sorry you are dealing with this!! *Hugs!!* Just try and remember that you had the best day of your life! Even if your friends don’t realize it. Maybe mention that in conversation to them sometime to let them know that their lack of support and enthusiastic reaction hurt you. Friends should be there for you during a time like this no matter how large or small the occassion. They totally should have thrown you a hens night too! You aren’t being ridiculous here by any means. Every girl wants her chance in the spotlight when they get married. It’s how it works. Just because you didn’t have a large celebration shouldn’t mean anything.

Again, I am sorry you are going through this. But don’t be afraid to say something about it to your friends. They should know how you feel here!

Post # 8
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I can understand how your friend’s comments are driving you crazy.  That seems totally reasonable.  Not sure why you think you shouldn’t be having them.

It also sounds like your other friends like the snotty friend better (or else pay more attention to her) which totally sucks.

You already know this – but you’ll be better off the more you can distance yourself from comparing anything between the weddings (meaning – how long friends stayed compared to hers or what they did for her, etc etc.)  Focus on the good relationships you do have and try to let the stupid comments she makes GO AWAY.  I’d hide her comments from my FB feed for awhile, personally.

Post # 10
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How do you get a “tone” from a facebook msg? And how does she “basically” say something. I’m not saying these things can’t happen, but it would be helpful for us to know exactly what was said.

Even though it sounds like you enjoyed your day, it also sounds like you could appreciate having a big blow out. Maybe not….but either way, I would try to let go of those feelings. It does give off the hint of a green eye (jealousy) which is probably NOT the case. Since it’s not the case, try to be happy for your friend and allow her “bridey” moments. Afterall, she’s married now and it should only last for a bit longer lol.

Post # 11
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I understand you’re frustrated and annoyed, but I think it’s coming from a place of jealousy.

You did things your own way, good for you. She did things differently. Don’t compare and don’t get annoyed that friends treated your wedding differently. It was different. And maybe your friends thought you didn’t want to make a big deal out of the wedding. They might even have been offended they were invited to the ceremony. But either way, it’s done and I’m sure it was beautiful.Stop reading your other friends posts and be happy for what you have.

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m really sorry to say this because I agree your situation kind of sucks, but you do sound pretty jealous. Also your ‘friends’ sound really cliquey and not like real friends. A wedding, even a secret one, really shows you who your true friends are. If these girls didn’t stay all night and rally together to throw you a post-hen part or SOMETHING, they unfortunately are a little too self centered to keep in your life, at least to the extent you have been.

My advice is to focus on the positive right now. You’ve got a great husband and a supportive loving family, so make sure you thank everyone who has been good to you.

And for your friend who just had a big wedding and is rubbing it in your face, she will get what’s coming to her. Just sit back, stay quiet and wait. Trust me, this type always gets it in the end.

Post # 13
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

hmmm in reading in between the lines it sorta sounds like you were, as you said, having these feelings about ur other friends wedding (maybe a litttttle jealous?) and your other friend in the car picked up on it. Everyone does things differently- and she was probably getting annoyed that you were criticizing her decision to take out a loan. 

Having said that, I think the way that they handled you’re day was pretty shitty. They should have stayed the whole time. I think basically, since YOU werent making a big deal out of your wedding, no one else did either. Maybe you are wishing there had been a little bit more attention put on you. Thats totally normal. Maybe you should talk to them about it. I dont know if they are really meaning to hurt you

 

 

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