Post # 1
not sure why i’m having these feelings…. but i’m having them… i know i shouldn’t but i can’t stop them lol. Just wanted to vent a little.
My friend who got married 3 weeks after us and had the whole big “normal” wedding when we had our secret wedding in the morning and BBQ dinner in the evening to tell everyone…. that was all fine, i didn’t care that our weddings were so close. I didn’t have a hens night… i was excepting one and i wasn’t upset not having one because no one knew what we were doing but yeah i did feel a little meh when i went out with the girls for her hens night… had a great night though.
There was little things along the way leading up to the weddings that annoyed me, like they took out a loan to have their wedding, now to me that is a very silly thing to do… my friend who wasn’t going to be in the country knew and i mentioned to her that i didn’t think it was a smart idea what they had done … her response “yes but she loves him sooo much that she shout it out off her roof top” i was like ummm wft? yeah i would shout that out too but i’m not going to go into debt just to have a big wedding…. anyway she just continued to basically say that because we weren’t spend a lot of money and having everyone at the actual ceremony that we don’t love each as much *ROAR* that p!ssed me off so much i had to stop talking to her (not forever just for that car ride lol)
also kept implying that we weren’t having a real wedding….. OMG!!! just because i dont want to spend thousands to feed people and hundreds/thousands on a dress etc doesn’t mean its not a REAL wedding!
anyway… so my friend who got married…. just got back from her honeymoon… and she’s emailing everyone and saying stuff like “I have some bridey requests” and has made some comments on my facebook status with very “high and mighty’ tone…. she was acting like that on her hens night too…..
ARGH!!! i just feel very grrrr towards her at the moment. I know i shouldn’t be… but i dont know… its like we didn’t get to have our time to shine…. i know that sounds lame and all but yeah…. OH OHOH…. AND!!! LOL the BBQ that we invited everyone too started at 4……. they (my 4 friends plus one partner) all left at 7… straight after they finished eating… i knew that everyone wouldn’t stay long because it was a sunday and was expecting people to start leaving at like 9…. i was fine when they were actually leaving because they day was so huge for me it felt like 11pm lol but then i saw the clock and i was like WHAT?! then i found out that they had actually spent the whole day together doing girly bridey things for my friend… and then they all left together… (then 15mins left i see one of my friends post on facebook “is bored… what should i do?” UMM YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED A BIT LONGER AT MINE…. *sigh*
I guess i’m feeling a little left out…. i’m except an email/message from her soon because i just deleted her ‘high and mighty’ comment on facebook lol.
oh well… just needed to vent.
by the way… i wouldn’t change how i had my day for anything! It was the most perfect day ever! if anything i would want to live it over and over again!
Post # 3
i think you might be a little jealous. just because you didnt have a big, traditional wedding, doesnt mean that your marriage isnt valid and meaningful. i think youre feeling a bit inadequate and maybe youre letting that create some tension and hard feelings. i get that you are just venting, but i really think you should just drop it.
Post # 4
this sounds uber jealous. You are making it seem like yours wasn’t as good as hers. If you wanted the bbq then own it and let it go.
Post # 5
no no no…. it’s how she is acting…. like she all high and mighty because she’s now married she’s acting like she is better then everyone…. and continue to ask for ‘bridey’ request (thats how she is asking)… i mean yeah ask friends for favours thats fine… but continue to say “bridey” requests is bugging me.
no not jealous of her wedding… dont get me wrong it was beautiful and all but doing the whole thing in front of a big group of people isn’t our thing… to me it would be like standing infront of high school class reading your assignment lol.
Yeah i’m feeling a little left out but its mainly the way she is acting.
ARGH! i’ll just shut up because like you both said it’s very stupid for me to be feeling like this.
Post # 6
@Baby_PebbleS: It sounds like you think highly of your girlfriends and put them on a pedestal. I honestly don’t think they value your friendship very much. What friend talks about your wedding plans and says it’s not real? They are not your friends. Tell those haters to go kick rocks.
I’m sure your ceremony and BBQ rocked and you and your SO had a great time.
Post # 7
I’m sorry you are dealing with this!! *Hugs!!* Just try and remember that you had the best day of your life! Even if your friends don’t realize it. Maybe mention that in conversation to them sometime to let them know that their lack of support and enthusiastic reaction hurt you. Friends should be there for you during a time like this no matter how large or small the occassion. They totally should have thrown you a hens night too! You aren’t being ridiculous here by any means. Every girl wants her chance in the spotlight when they get married. It’s how it works. Just because you didn’t have a large celebration shouldn’t mean anything.
Again, I am sorry you are going through this. But don’t be afraid to say something about it to your friends. They should know how you feel here!
Post # 8
I can understand how your friend’s comments are driving you crazy. That seems totally reasonable. Not sure why you think you shouldn’t be having them.
It also sounds like your other friends like the snotty friend better (or else pay more attention to her) which totally sucks.
You already know this – but you’ll be better off the more you can distance yourself from comparing anything between the weddings (meaning – how long friends stayed compared to hers or what they did for her, etc etc.) Focus on the good relationships you do have and try to let the stupid comments she makes GO AWAY. I’d hide her comments from my FB feed for awhile, personally.
Post # 9
ok… i just want to point out that she is one of my closest friends (there is a group of 6 of us that are best friends)… and she’s only started acting like this now…. weird.
I’m trying not to take anything to heart. trying to ignore most things.
@SamanthaSadlier See they couldn’t throw me a hens night… not that i wanted one… because no one knew what we were doing (well they knew something was happening but not what…) and i was keeping all wedding planning to myself so I knew i wasn’t going to get a hens 🙂
Post # 10
How do you get a “tone” from a facebook msg? And how does she “basically” say something. I’m not saying these things can’t happen, but it would be helpful for us to know exactly what was said.
Even though it sounds like you enjoyed your day, it also sounds like you could appreciate having a big blow out. Maybe not….but either way, I would try to let go of those feelings. It does give off the hint of a green eye (jealousy) which is probably NOT the case. Since it’s not the case, try to be happy for your friend and allow her “bridey” moments. Afterall, she’s married now and it should only last for a bit longer lol.
Post # 11
I understand you’re frustrated and annoyed, but I think it’s coming from a place of jealousy.
You did things your own way, good for you. She did things differently. Don’t compare and don’t get annoyed that friends treated your wedding differently. It was different. And maybe your friends thought you didn’t want to make a big deal out of the wedding. They might even have been offended they were invited to the ceremony. But either way, it’s done and I’m sure it was beautiful.Stop reading your other friends posts and be happy for what you have.
Post # 12
I’m really sorry to say this because I agree your situation kind of sucks, but you do sound pretty jealous. Also your ‘friends’ sound really cliquey and not like real friends. A wedding, even a secret one, really shows you who your true friends are. If these girls didn’t stay all night and rally together to throw you a post-hen part or SOMETHING, they unfortunately are a little too self centered to keep in your life, at least to the extent you have been.
My advice is to focus on the positive right now. You’ve got a great husband and a supportive loving family, so make sure you thank everyone who has been good to you.
And for your friend who just had a big wedding and is rubbing it in your face, she will get what’s coming to her. Just sit back, stay quiet and wait. Trust me, this type always gets it in the end.
Post # 13
hmmm in reading in between the lines it sorta sounds like you were, as you said, having these feelings about ur other friends wedding (maybe a litttttle jealous?) and your other friend in the car picked up on it. Everyone does things differently- and she was probably getting annoyed that you were criticizing her decision to take out a loan.
Having said that, I think the way that they handled you’re day was pretty shitty. They should have stayed the whole time. I think basically, since YOU werent making a big deal out of your wedding, no one else did either. Maybe you are wishing there had been a little bit more attention put on you. Thats totally normal. Maybe you should talk to them about it. I dont know if they are really meaning to hurt you