Post # 1
As to be expected, there’s been lots of baby talk on my side of my family since the wedding. We’re not even close to that yet (3-5 years out) but we do discuss kids more than we ever did before. I went to my aunts today and the first thing she said to me when I walked in the door was “Are you coming to tell me you’re pregnant?!” (in an excited, not bitchy, tone – so hard to tell on the Internet). Um, no.
So we got to talking about timing, how many we want, etc. I told her that I only want 1 but Darling Husband wants 2. She was surprised when I said I only wanted 1 (which is an upgrade from my “never procreating” stance I held until just a few years ago) since I’m an only child. She said that most of the other only children that she knows all wanted to have atleast 2 kids because they always wanted siblings growing up. I was TOTALLY not like that.
I loved being an only child. I feel like I got to experience a lot of things that my friends with siblings didn’t get. Growing up, I always had friends around so I never really felt lonely. Actually, most of my “BFF’s” we’re other only children so we spent a lot of time together. Now that I’m older it could be cool to have a sibling but I don’t really think I missed out on anything to the point where I would want multiple. I guess I’d just rather devote all of my time and energy to one kid.
So, fellow only children, if you’re planning to reproduce (or already have) do you want your kids to have siblings or are you you staying in “only child camp”?
Post # 3
I have 2 childen that are now teenagers (2yrs. apart). They get along well and were playmates and kept each other company when they were younger. Let me tell you, the first time I was alone with one child for more than a few hours was when the youngest was about 8 yrs. old. The older child went on a week long trip with his dad. The younger child expected me to be her playmate, friend, buddy, etc. I was exhausted!!!!!! I called my sister and offered to keep my niece for the next few days so my daughter would have a playmate until my son came back. IMO, one child is exhausting!
ETA: I’m not an only child by my siblings are so much older than me that I grew up as an only child. I was bored and lonely a lot of the time. This is why I intentionally had two children close together.
Post # 4
I didn’t vote, since I’m not an only, but my parents were both only children….and there are 4 soon to be 5 of us. My mom has explicitly said, “One of the reasons I had your brother was for you to play with.” Then brother 2 was a surprise. Then they chose to adopt my little sister and are adopting another child soon. They are strange, but the main point was, they wanted more than 1 because they didn’t like being by themselves so much growing up.
Post # 5
I always wanted 2. However, my FH has 2 already so I just want one. Only thing is by the time we have a baby, his 2 will be adults 🙁
Post # 6
@2ndtime & @AmeliaBedelia: Makes sense. I had quite the imagination as a kid so even when I was alone, I could entertain myself. I may or may not have had an imaginary friend or two.:)
Post # 7
I hated being an only child until I was about 12. I remember my mom cracking a joke about now being the perfect time to have another baby, and I FREAKED out on her. I think my head must have spun around twice.
I did at the time however, plan on having 6 kids of my own. As I got older I changed my mind, so now I plan on having 4. And I would be thrilled if I got a set of twins!
Post # 8
@UpstateCait: I definitely understand about the imagination thing, my Fiance laughed at me when I told him I used to roller skate around the basement pretending I was acting in some super awesome play and having a tea party with the stay puff marshmallow man from Ghostbusters lol
I loved being an only child, but I think I might want to have more than one just because now that I’m older I think it will be really tough when my parents are gone (I don’t mean to be morbid but I work in an assisted living center and since then this thought has crossed my mind). I think because I was an only child I was a lot more independent than my friends with siblings and I did in school because I always my parents undivided attention (not that this can’t happen with siblings, I’m just using my own experience, no offense to anyone!)
We will probably end up having more than one (like you we’re several years away from making this decision.) But those are kind of the +’s and -‘s I’ve noticed about being an only 🙂 Sorry for writing a novel!
Post # 9
I was an only child and I longed for someone to play with. Now I have one three year old I always wanted 2 so they could grow up together and he could always have a little playmate.
Also, looking at other parents who have more than one child, they seem to actually have a little time to themselves becaus the kids play together and not constantly want attention from the parents. My three year old never leaves me alone! I love him but my goodness, I’d love to just sit down and read for half an hour on my own! 😛
Post # 10
My Fiance is practically an only child, his half brothers are 10 and 12 years older than him, and only stayed with his dad (their dad too) every other weekend. So he didn’t see them much growing up. Like you, he had an awesome imagination (still does) so he was never lonely, but when we started talking about kids he said he wanted 2 so they had a perma-playmate. I’ve always wanted 4 (or maybe more..) and he was like ‘no way!’ and we negotiated to 3, but after spending time with my awesome huge family and my mass amount of cousins he has warmed up to the idea of 4 because he wants to have heaps of grandchildren one day! He figures the more kids we have the more chance we have at having lots of grandkids. As he says ‘it’s just maths really.’ I think he also has plans to turn our future children into a traveling rock band.
Post # 11
@UpstateCait: Thanks for posting this thread! My Darling Husband and I both have siblings, but since I’m an older TTC’er we’re most likely only going to have one child (unless a higher power has a different plan for us). I’m enjoying everyone’s responses…especially those that were happy as an only child.
Post # 12
I LOVED being the only child. I don’t play well with others, nor share haha 😉
Post # 13
There are so many pros of being an only child. I loved all of the attention and I also got to experience a lot of things that many of my other friends didn’t get to do. I think it would be less of a financial burden, and it would be easier as a parent.
I want more than one. I think. I didn’t really learn how to share as a child (I even forget the word “compromise”), and I had cousins who all had siblings and was always a little jealous of that bond and relationship that they had.
i am also convinced I’ll have twins – we have two sets of twins in one generation, and my grandma had aunts that were twins. It’s basically like playing roulette around here.
ETA: My husband is one of five, and I’m really glad that I married someone that has siblings so my kid(s) will have aunts and uncles!
Post # 14
I was an only child and while in some ways I was spoilt, in other ways I was very lonely, I had lots of friends but it is just not the same.
Now as an adult who has lost all grandparents and parents (by the ripe old age of 24) I would love some siblings (some family).
I am pregnant now and would really love to have 3 children.
Post # 15
@UpstateCait: I definitely had an imaginary friend before my brother was born. 🙂 Totally normal, as we grew up to be awesome! haha. I will add this, I would be fine having an only child. A big reason why is because I know my kid is destined to have a boatload of cousins (between all of us, our kids will have a minimum of 5 aunts/uncles, and this is BEFORE any of our sibs get married), so there will always be someone around.
Post # 16
My husband was an only child, so I had him weigh in for me. He’s always wanted a big family because he was lonely growing up as a child. He however grew up in a VERY isolated area. It’s not like he could ride his bike to a friend’s house, or go down to the local park whenever he felt like it. His father went on to have other children (his parents divorced when he was a baby), but not until my husband was in his teens. He feels the “they don’t know how to share/are spoiled” thing, like anything else, depends solely on the parents of said child. Had we not sneaked in a surprise baby this go around, I would have been perfectly content to raise Dirty Delete as an only child. I think it’s nice she will have a sister, but I also think she would have had a nice life either way!