(Closed) Fellow orphan brides? Q about ceremony.

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Still weighing my options. It’s between walking alone or walking with F-grand-FIL. I originally wanted to walk alone, but since my mom died more recently (as in after I got engaged), I also get the pity looks, too, and since that has changed, I am just not sure I want to walk alone. Like it would be more alone alone and less just a walk alone, if that makes any sense. I don’t really have any family on my side, but F-grand-FIL has been volunteered by multiple people. We get along super well so I know if I asked him, he’d gladly do it. Just not sure if I want to be walked at all. It’s kind of a sucky situation to be in, both the situation that merits the dilemma and the fact that it’s a dilemma at all. I have thought about Fiance and I walking in together, but his family is pretty traditional and would probably be a little shell-shocked over it. Don’t know how worth the drama it would be. Good luck to you working it out. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Do you have a maid of honor or a best friend or two you could walk with?  Kinda like in I Love You Man?

 

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I was blessed to have much of my family around me on my wedding. However, I had no father figure to I wanted to walk me down the aisle. I *did* walk down the aisle with my then Fiance and it was one of the best decisions I made. We had the first look and finished all the photos before hand. It was very calming to hold his hand and be so close as we walked down the aisle. On a more smoozy level, I liked the idea of approaching the ceremony together. We’d been together so long, that no big decisions are made alone. It wasn’t like we were *starting* our lives together, but rather promising to continue them together publically. Why not visually represent that from the beginning.

In short, walking with my Fiance was one of the best decisions we made.

Post # 8
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

What about you walking yorself half way and your Fiance meeting you half way down the aisle and walking you the rest of the way…so he still gets to walk you but you still get the specialness of the ‘first look’ & you get to have him by your side like you want. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not quite in your situation, but my Father isn’t in the picture and I wasn’t feeling having my Mom walk me down the aisle, though she wanted to. I walked alone and I was happy with that choice. I felt that I was the one stepping out to meet my husband to be, and making the choice to marry and walking alone sort of fit that. None of the guests said anything about it, and as a bonus, I didn’t have to worry about anyone stepping on my dress. πŸ˜‰

In my opinion, every moment that you see your Fiance and husband will be wonderful, no matter what you choose to be doing!  Doing pictures before, or having him walk you up the aisle, or meeting you halfway down the aisle, it will all be wonderful. 

In our case, we did pictures before the ceremony, but I couldn’t think of any ‘first look’ ideas that I liked, so we just showed up. He came around the car in the parking lot, and we looked at each other, and said hi, and it was wonderful! It was also an absolutely wonderful moment walking down the aisle.

In my church, the bride always walks up the aisle almost to the altar, and then the Pastor asks who gives the bride away (which you could skip) and then asks the groom (waiting at the altar) to go get his bride. So then we walked up the last bit to the altar together. Maybe something like this could work for you?

Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@techie: yeah….it seems to be pretty common & it would look beautiful and would be very symbolic πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nobody gave me away. My husband and I walked together down the aisle. We loved the symbolism of giving ourselves to each other.

Post # 13
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My aunt was in a similar situation when she married my uncle.  Because she was so involved with my grandparents (my uncle’s parents), she had my grandfather walk her down the aisle instead.

Post # 14
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Do you have anyone in your life who was like a mom or dad to you? Or like a big brother or big sister? My foster mom (I call her mom now) walked me down the isle & it was amazing. I was worried about what to do as well, but she asked me if she could walk me & I never thought of it & I was shocked (in a good way) & honored that she wanted to do that :). No one said anything or gave us wierd looks or anything, everyone really liked it :).

Post # 15
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My Fiance will meet me half way down the aisle and we’ll finish the walk together. I like the symbolism. πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Although my father will be attending my wedding, I am walking down the aisle by myself.  I don’t have the best relationship w/ my father so I’m doing good inviting him. 

If you want someone to walk you down, ask your mother, brother, or a good friend.  Or you can walk w/ your Fiance.  Its your day so don’t worry about how others will take it.  You’ll only remember the happiness.

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