- 2 weeks ago
I’m wanting to know, are there any other females who find making and keeping new friends difficult as an adult?
Here’s my situation. I’ve had a strong core group of friends since high school. We’ve had our differences but managed to stay together through the years and see one another quite often. My issue is not with this group. My issue is with those friends that I’ve tried to make since high school. Typically it goes like this. I meet a new friend through a hobby or common interest, we spend time together over 6-12 months (wine, brunch, manicures, dog walks) but then “poof!” they disappear. Here’s my experience so far this year:
Friend A – we met a year ago, didn’t stay in touch, but reconnect when we start going to the same spin class. We also both have the same chronic medical condition so we connect over this. She was consistent with texting me back and us going out together. But then when I stopped going to spin class (finances) she stopped responding to my text messages and wanting to go out.
Friend B – we met through our dog walker (our dogs really hit it off). We had frequent wine dates/doggy play dates at each other’s homes along with brunch dates. She’s also looked after my dog on several occasions. Then she gets into a new relationship and doesn’t have time for me.
I think in the above I pretty much identify the reason. But what gets to me is this happens to me EVERY YEAR! I have about a dozen similar experiences like the above that have happened to me and it’s very frustrating. I want to expand my social circle but find myself discouraged every time this happens. My 30th Birthday is quickly approaching and what typically happens is 25% of my guest list bails/flakes and it’s usually friends like the above.
(If this gives any context to the above I work full-time, in a relationship, no children, live in a major metropolitan city).
Does this happen to anyone else? Is there something I’m missing? Any tips on how to maintain female adult friendships?