Female friendships as an adult

posted 1 month ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

I’m pretty antisocial so I don’t really enjoy friends. 

Post # 17
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

A few years ago I was interested in making new friends since I moved to a new area that I planned to stay in. I joined a few groups to make friends and started hanging out with people, I clicked well with a few girls but when I started a new job working weekdays 7:30-4 and I just didn’t have time to work on building friendships anymore. I like to go to the gym so my weekdays are work, eat, gym, sleep. My weekends tend to fill up so seeing each other once every 6-8 weeks wasn’t enough to feed a new friendship I guess. Then like you’re saying none of these “new friends” wouldn’t come to celebrate my birthday or anything like my old friends do. I found that my old friendships, and one somewhat new one (aquaintence from the past I reconnected with and became best friends with) remained strong even if we didn’t see each other for a few months and only sent a few texts here and there. So I decided to give up on trying to make friends in my new area and just keep up with my old friends even though they live an hour away. I was much happier with that.

So to answer your question, adult friendships are tough to make because of lack of time to get to know each other and build a bond. If you think about it, in high school and maybe college you’d hang out with your friends at least once a week if not multiple times a week. In adulthood most of us don’t have that kind of time. It’s much easier to maintain already established friendships because we you do catch up every few months there’s that strong bond that makes you feel like no time has passed.

It seems to me that when adults do make friends it’s because of their kids. Most of my parent’s friends that they made in adulthood came from them coming to me or my brother’s sporting events and over the years connecting with the other parents. So my husband and I figure we’ll make local friends once we have kids.

Post # 18
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

I can relate. Adult friendships are hard. Everyone’s always so busy.

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