@Lyndzo: I am also a frequent UTI sufferer! It realllly really sucks, I swear sometimes I can just think about getting a UTI and it will happen. Anyways, here’s what I have tried and what I recommend for you (I am a med student & Hopefully a future OBGYN).
PEE RIGHT AFTER SEX! No cuddling, kissing, etc. until you make a bathroom trip. Does it suck that it completely ruins the moment? Yes. Is it worse than getting a UTI? No, in my opinion.
Drink a big glass of water after sex, maybe even 2 or 3 to really keep fluids moving through your kidneys/bladder.
I have started taking a ‘prophylactic’ antibiotic after sex- just popping one right after the deed usually keeps a UTI away. Ask your doctor about doing this. I know some people who actually take antibiotics every day, just to prevent UTIs.
Warning: this paragraph gets a little tmi: Make sure he and you are ‘clean’ down there before doing the deed. If my hubby is has been outside doing yard work, etc. All day- he knows now he needs to shower first if he wants some. Lol–warm sweaty balls are a bacteria playground, so it’s best if his junk is clean. Same for your junk if they have gotten really sweaty or its just been a while since your last shower. Also- a lot of UTIs are caused by bacteria that are found in your poo- and since females’ #1 and #2 orifices are so close, the friction & rubbing of sex can push bacteria hanging around your #2 hole after going #2 earlier that day right up your #1 hole. My solution is keeping cottonelle ‘wet wipes’ close to the toilet and using them after any #2s to get it really nice & clean down there.
Speaking of toilet habits, it is important you wipe front to back. Try to think of it as you always want any motion down there directed away from your urethra (aka your pee hole, which actually lives inside your vaginal orifice-brief anatomy lesson). Any time there is movement toward your urethra (sticking ANYTHING up there-a male part, sex toy, finger, seriously anything except a tampon) you need to pee to flush out any bacteria that may have made its way up your urethra with whatever went inside your vag, by peeing. No douching-this messes up the environment your body has set up to keep infections at bay (remember, whenever possible, nothing moves towards your urethra).
As far as these little cuts — the skin around your lady parts is very fragile. Any excess friction or irritation can cause small tears down there (which is what your problem is kind of sounding like to me, but it’s hard to tell without actually seeing it), and anytime your skin is opened up and exposed to the environment down there, guess what? Your body will mount an inflammatory response to heal it. Four parts of inflammation- redness, swelling, pain, and heat. If you add bacteria to that mix (because remember, our number one and number two parts are like a bacteria playground) this will make the inflammation even worse. So how do you fix this?
LUBE LUBE AND MORE LUBE. Also, if you shave and/or he shaves, prickly stubble can really hurt & rub. The shaving alone can cause irritation down there, and when anything rubs on it, it can make it worse. Are you using any type of shaving cream or strange lotions down there? It’s best to avoid putting anything with harsh perfumes, etc. down there. It is also possible you could be a allergic to something, which could be causing inflammation as well. It might be something on you or possibly something from him- soaps, lotions, etc. Do you use latex condoms? A lot of people are allergic to those too! Just about any type of foreign substance that is coming in contact with your parts down there could be causing an allergic reaction. Analyze what all comes in contact with your lady parts and start paying attention to when you have these flare-ups.
. I can get really irritated down there when my stubble starts to grow back after shaving. A godsend for me has been hydrocortisone cream with aloe. It is safe to rub on all your OUTER lady parts (remember- nothing towards your urethra!) and is an inflammation reliever, so it makes it feel much much better down there. Ask your doctor or pharmacist about it if you have any concerns.
Also-how are your underwear? They can rub too sometimes and thongs can allow bacteria to sit & multiply right close to your urethra, then when you move around, friction can shove the bacteria right up there, hello UTI. I have completely switched to wearing comfy briefs b/c thongs would irritate my lady parts so bad sometimes that it just felt sore down there. Sometimes I feel less sexy, but my down there never hurts as much. Key is just breathable, loose-ish undies.
I apologize for writing a ton of information, I just really feel for girls who suffer down there because I know how bad it sucks!!! Good luck, and remember if you aren’t getting good answers from your doctor, there is no shame in getting a second opinion or specifically talking to an OBGYN or urologist. Sometimes primary care docs just don’t know as much about complicated lady problems because they just don’t deal with them enough. Getting this many UTIs and having so much irritation down there is not normal, and your doctor should be offering you more advice than just ruling out infections/STDs!!