- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
i’ve been reading a lot about communication between men and women, the differences in ways of communicating, the differences in brains between the sexes etc.
all of this has gotten me a bit depressed and frustrated. the “studies” say that men and women have different brains, that they work differently and that is the reason for much of the miscommunication between men and women.
i have a hard time with this idea, but regardless of whether men and women have different brains or that they are socialized differently and therefore communicate differently, the end result is still the same. it seems as if it is very difficult for men and women to REALLY understand one another.
when i read these things about how men communicate and how they view the purpose of communication and how the “typical” man views relationships, i just get really depressed and frustrated.
from my point of view it seems like men are unable to “feel” the way women “feel”. i know that they have feelings etc blah blah blah. but from what i’ve been reading a “typical” man’s view of life is very different from my view.
on the one hand i know that all these books about communication are meant to make it easier for men and women to have meaningful coverstations about important topics. but on the other hand it is so.much.work and i feel like most of the responsibilty for making it work is placed on women.
it seems like women are the ones who are expected to learn how men communicate and then use men’s preferred method/style of communication when speaking with men.
from where i sit that is so much work, having to go out and basically learn a new language, i feel like i am the one who is expected to do all the work simply because i am a woman and i’m supposed to be the “better” communictor since my brain is “wired” that way.
and this train of thought (if it IS a brain difference and is therefore biologically/evolutionarily based) leads me down the path of thinking, what is the point of even being with a man then? if i can’t communicate with them naturally, i.e. i wasn’t born with the innate ability to speak with them in their “language”, then the only purpose (biologically speaking) is to procreate, and then where does that leave someone like me who has no desire to have children?