(Closed) Female Officiant

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Was/ Is your officiant male or female?
    My officiant is male, but I would have chosen either male or female. : (45 votes)
    28 %
    My officiant is female, but I would have chosen either male or female. : (72 votes)
    46 %
    My officiant is male, and it only could have been male. : (24 votes)
    15 %
    My officiant is female, and I wanted a female. : (17 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m a reasonably conservative Christian (though I’m 100% ok with female preachers), and I’ve been to a few weddings with female officiants, and I’ve never had a problem nor noticed anyone had a problem. Most Christian denominations are fine with female pastors these days (main exception being the Catholics, but even Catholics know the rules are different in non-Catholic churches).

    Stay with her. In the unlikely event that someone doesn’t like it, it is their problem.

    Post # 4
    21 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Our officiant is male, and I only wanted a male…but not for religious reasons.  I just couldn’t picture a woman in our pictures!  It’s so strange, I have no idea why I felt so strongly about it! I didn’t care about much else, other than that he be a male and not be strange.

    Post # 5
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Our officiant was my Pastor and she has been in the family since my mom was in 6th grade. I wouldn’t have dreamed of having ANYONE else perform our ceremony. She also sang our 1st dance song too:)


    Post # 6
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    Wow. Just wow….it’s 2013! Come on! 

    Post # 7
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We have a female officiant as well. And are getting married at our church. But we are Episcopalian so its not unusual. Our church is really, big, and very historic, its absolutely beautiful… but our parents are both Catholic! lol! So when we chose to start attending an Episcopal church, and then to be confirmed as Episcopalian, they were surprised.. I think they had some conflicted feelings about it.. but when we invited them to the church, and they saw how beautiful it was, how happy we were, and how nice and inviting our female priest is (episcopal churches are very similar to catholic churches in services and tradition, but the are just a bit  more modern in their beliefs)… 


    I think as long as your family meets her, and sees how happy you are, all apprehensions about it will be forgotten. If you like her that is what matters most, and Im sure if you do like her its for a reason! A connection is A special thing and if you liked her, keep her, dont change for the sake of anyone else! 



    Good luck on your big day! 🙂


    Post # 8
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We went with a female only because I was skimming through the phone book for marriage celebrants and saw the name of an old friend that I didn’t know was a celebrant! So we went with her just because it was easier, and she cut us a bit of a deal, too 🙂

    Post # 10
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    OP, yes, that seems ridiculous. If any family members thought a female officiant is unfit to marry you, that would reflect terribly on them and you should not try to cater to those ideas. 

    ETA: If you got a good feeling from this woman after reading reviews and speaking with her, that should go a much longer way than her gender. Read all the horror stories on the Bee about women who didnt click with their officiants. Consider yourself lucky to find one you clicked with. 

    Post # 11
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Our officiant was female, but we didn’t care either way.  She did a wonderful job, not only during the ceremony, but just blending in the back ground before/after and gracefully taking her leave (before food which we offered).

    We didn’t meet her in person until a maybe 30 minutes prior to ceremony (before we got dressed up lol).  We did a custom ceremony and emailed it to her, she said it was fine. She had a wonderful presence and great speaking voice.

    I’m NOT a public speaker or person, but she made me feel like “What better job could you have if you are good at public speaking and personable and can read a group and fit in unobtrusively than marrying people!”.

    Post # 12
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We only wanted a male. No good reason really we just didn’t picture ourselves being married by a woman.

    Post # 13
    1938 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My and my Darling Husband had our undergrad Psych professor marry us! It was PERFECT! She meant so much to both of us and really became a close friend. 


    For some reason, ever since I was a little girl, I have ALWAYS pictured a woman officiant! And when I found out our psych professor was one I KNEW she was the one!!! 



    Post # 14
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Our officiant is male but it didn’t matter to us either way. We met a female officiant a bridal show she came off like a total whacko! Had she been as lovely as you described yours to be we would have booked her. 

    Post # 15
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    woah holy sexism! 

    Post # 16
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

    I’ve been to two weddings where both officiants are female. In the latter wedding, everyone had so much fun at the evening ceremony/reception! You would seriously have thought the officiant was a stand up comedian. It was very personal, intimate, light-hearted, and heart-warming all at once. (The bride and groom found her through the power of internet)

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