(Closed) Female Pastor?

posted 7 years ago in Christian
Post # 31
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

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Mrs_Amanda:  Actually, I went back and read the original post.  The OP asked if a female pastor is bibilically correct.  I do think there is debate over that topic as evidenced by the fact that some Christian churches use females and some do not…..

 

OP, I think you just have to listen to your own heart on this issue because I do not think there is a “right” answer to which all Christians subscribe…:-)

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by  NavyBee.
Post # 32
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337 posts
Helper bee

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MusicLove716:  I think ELCA is very laid back and would not be judgmental of your asking. Even more so when it is so that you can keep peace between you and your dad. 

Post # 33
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

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Mrs.Sawyertobe:  Right, which I would agree with you on. 

I am open to discussions at any point when it comes to issues such as these. I think they are important and useful. I also think that when you start your statements out with a smug, know it all attitude then it discredits a lot of what you’re trying to convey. If you don’t like a particular denomination or the practices, fine. No one is forcing you to go/participate. But to do the proverbial “eye roll” on those who do is just silly, disrepectful and pretty on par with the poster in question– so I called her out on it. 

Oh, and I don’t need a “chicken dinner” to understand when someone is continuously insufferable, I came to that conclusion without the help of outside observation.

 

OP– I do agree with 

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Mrs.Sawyertobe when she said, “I think you just have to listen to your own heart on this issue because I do not think there is a “right” answer to which all Christians subscribe”<br /><br /><br />

Post # 34
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

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Mrs_Amanda:  Honestly, I am not sure how I feel on this issue.  In typical lawyer fashion, I could argue either side.  🙂  I think there is merit to each side.  I always try to keep these religion discussions respectful because there are so many people that I respect as humans but disagree with their theology.  It would have been nice of God to have told us exactly what he meant…:-)

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by  NavyBee.
Post # 35
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m ELCA Lutheran and recently my church had a female pastor that my mothher was very close to. Most ELCA churches generally have a single pastor (large churches might have 2) so I’m not sure I understand the pastor being “assigned” to you – can you explain that? However, at least at my church, you can rent the building and briing your own pastor. Do you attend church regularly and have a pastor that you could ask?

ELCA and LCMS are both Lutheran but are at opposite ends of the social liberal/conservative spectrum. Honestly I think it’s unlikely that you are going to find a ELCA pastor who is as conservative as your family members, if they agree with LCMS. Being female is an obviously visible difference, but you could just as easily have a male pastor that was gay. And almost undoubtably a ELCA pastor would suupport female pastors.

I think that if someone had come to my church and told my female pastor that they didn’t want to be married by a woman she would have been hurt. Do you work? Think about how you would feel if someone said that they didn’t want to work with you because you were female. Especially in a profession that is still male dominated. However, she would have been understanding and kind (she is a pastor, after all!) and likely would have said  that the church building can be rented and you can provide your own pastor.

So think about what you really want. Don’t change pastors becausee you’re afraid of what you family will think.  But if you would prefer a pastor who is more in line with your conservative views then I think you should ask if you bring in your own pastor of your choosing. 

Post # 37
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Can someone explain to me what “enjoy your chicken dinner” means?

Post # 38
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

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howtobeawife:  a PP incorrectly assumed that I must be a member of another (snark) website because I disagreed with something that was said. I guess the tagline for calling people out on that site is to associate them with a chicken dinner or something?? Not sure– you would have to ask Jules about that one!

Post # 39
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

I don’t understand the issue….though, I also realized it is a different Lutheran Church and alot of congregations do have different guidelines. I don’t really think there will be that much conflict. It isn’t as if you’re straight-out having a secular ceremony. 

Post # 40
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ah, that makes more sense if the church is currently without a pastor and using interims. Those periods are always complicated for a church.

I think it may be time for you to do a little soul searching about your own beliefs around this matter. Certainly there are lots of people on either side of the issue of female church leaders and neither is really “right”. But I’d encourage you think about why you think a femal pastor may not align with your beliefs? I’d imagine that this largely arises from church policy, but think beyong that. Do some scripture reading, if that would help. Think about any actual problems you see in women being leading in a church. And think beyong church. Do you have an issue with women who lead/teach in other areas like school or coaching or tour guides or busisness? Like I said, there’s no real “right” answer, but it’s good to think about your beliefs instead of focusing on your family’s beliefs or the LCMS beliefs.

All that being said, if you come to the decison that you don’t agree with females performing church ceremonies then I would recommend that you just bring in an outside officiant from the LCMS who is more closely aligned with your beliefs. It shouldn’t be that much more money and may prevent other issues from popping up (like an ELCA pastor is not likely to condone a closed communion, if you’re hoping to have one). The church might even give you a discount if you’re not using their pastor (at my church the fees for building and pastor are separate). If getting your own pastor is not financially feasible, then talk to the ELCA pastor about your concerns and see if they can switch you to a male pastor.

Post # 41
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

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howtobeawife:  I would like to know ,too. 😛

Post # 42
Bee
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL

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MusicLove716:  I would actually read your paperwork from the church if you have any. I’m Presbyterian, and am used to female pastors, but Fiance is Catholic and would have been very unsettled by being married by a woman, simply because that’s not what he associates with clergy and weddings. <br /><br />We’re getting married in my church and it explicitly says that whoever the church assigns will perform your wedding although you are able to request. I think if you requested someone else because you thought they would be a better fit for some legit reason it would be fine, but if you just don’t feel comfortable having a woman marry you I don’t know that the church would like that very much, since they obviously have no problem with it. Good luck!

Post # 43
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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howtobeawife:  
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MissFormaldehyde:  It’s a sarcastic spin off the phrase “winner winner chicken dinner”. Well, thats how it is used around here. 

Post # 44
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

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Payless:  That I actually had to Google, too. Must be a regional thing or something. 

Post # 45
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

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MusicLove716:  It sounds like you’re uncomfortable and concerned. I would never want to feel that way on my wedding day for any reason,  so I suggest you get another pastor. 

I would not feel comfortable requesting another pastor because I think it could be hurtful and offensive. If I were in your situation I would hire a pastor of my choosing and pay the additional fee.

I really hope you find a solution that makes you happy!

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