Post # 1
I think it’s often forgotten that you don’t have to keep your maiden name in order to be a feminist. Feminism is all about having choices, and being able to make these decisions with confidence, and without fear of judgement.
I see benefits to both keeping your name, or taking your husbands, but I hate the fact that you’re judged if you do, or judged if you don’t. For myself, I’m leaning toward keeping my maiden name legally, and using my husbands name socially. I would never be upset if someone used the “wrong” name…. unless it was done to be intentionally hurtful. I think so often people refer to a recently married MRS. because they think it’s sweet, not because they’re trying to piss you off.
Anyone else planning to use both names? Or not really care how people address you?
Post # 3
I am going to add my maiden name to my middle name (so I’ll have two middle names) and take FH’s last name. It works better for me than hyphenating because neither of our last names are short. I don’t care if I get judged either way. It’s none of anyone’s business but my FH’s and mine. That’s the way I look at it.
Post # 4
I agree 100%!
I feel that often you get judged for taking your husbands name moreso than keeping your maiden name (or at least this is my experience in my profession and in my circles).
I am changing my name to my husbands; however, many of my co-workers and friends have done what you are planning on doing and basically go by both names.
Post # 5
I mentioned to my guy that if we marry, I’ll be taking both names and using his first so that my last name remains last. You’re right though, you’re judged if you do and judged if you don’t 🙁
Post # 6
@JenniMichele: that’s almost what my sister did. She had to get rid of her given middle name, though, because the DMV wouldn’t let her have 2 middle names. So legally she’s First Maiden Hislast, but to us she’s really First Middle Maiden Hislast. 🙂
@FMM: yeah, it’s definately become trendy in my professional/social circle to keep your maiden name. I say trendy because it’s still not widely done, and seems reflective of their socioeconomic status.
Post # 7
@simplifiedbride: It’s my name…it’s who I have been for 30 years, 6 months and 2 days. I have built a brand professionally and I will not discard it. My decision is FIRST NAME, MAIDEN NAME, MARRIED NAME and my SO is not bothered by it.
Post # 8
@simplifiedbride: “Feminism is all about having choices” – Exactly! These days, women get to choose what to do regarding the whole name change issue. Whether a woman opts to stay with her maiden name, take her husband’s name, take her wife’s name, support her husband while he changes his name, take on an entirely new family name, or whatever, the key is that she has a choice. Judging a woman for the choice she makes is missing the point entirely.