(Closed) Fertility treatments… when to tell boss?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

soontobemrsKB92615:  What is your job? I work at a college and worked here 3 years. YOu probably need to go ahead and start letting he/she know whats going on, not just hey i have appts but let them knw the story and how importnant it is.

When do you have your first appt?

Post # 3
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If you think that your time off would be something that your boss would be bothered by, then best to say something. You can be vague and say you’re following up on a medical issue that is not something he needs to worry about. 

Post # 5
Member
4508 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

soontobemrsKB92615: Since all my pre-treatment testing depended on my cycle, which can be a little unpredictable, I told my boss, but didn’t mention what it was. I just said that I needed some testing done, and that I might not know until the day before when the next test would be, so I wouldn’t be able to request off 2 weeks ahead (like we’re supposed to).

It was fine – I didn’t have to share my fertility issues and he didn’t think I was just skipping out on work or ignoring the leave policy.

Post # 6
Member
464 posts
Helper bee

I started IVF very quickly after my first appointment with the RE. We both told our bosses as soon as I started active treatments. My monitoring was always before work, so that wasn’t an issue, but I also had a few appointments to deal with during the day, as well as egg retrieval and transfer. I know my bosses would keep it quiet and be supportive, though, so I felt comfortable sharing. Ironically, neither of them ever had children of their own.

Post # 7
Member
14939 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve been doing fertility treatments for over a year now and no one in my office knows, nor do I feel they need to know.  Monitoring and most appointments were first thing in the morning at 730-8am, and I’d still get into the office the same time I normally would.  There were a few late morning or afternoon appointments (I’d try to line that up as close to lunch time as possible) and then I’ve had to take 3 or 4 full days off for IVF cycles (1 or 2 days per cycle spaced out about 3-4 months so it’s really not often enough to look bad at work).  I’ve just told them that I had to take so-and-so day off, and no questions were asked.  If they asked, I’d just say ‘medical issue’…no one ever questions or prys into that.

Post # 8
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m close with my boss so I would tell her. I think you need to say something but you don’t necessarily have to give specifics.

Post # 9
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I told my direct supervisor after about 3 months of treatment.  Like you, I do monitoring before work, but I’ve had a few appointments during business hours (inseminations or consultation with my RE).  My supervisor was very supportive, but in retrospect I didn’t need to say anything.  She hadn’t noticed that I had a lot of medical appointments and was surprised.

Post # 10
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

when ttc #1, i did exactly what you suggested and let him know that i had some medical issues but nothing serious.  when ttc #2, i had weeks where i had appointments 2-4 days in a row.  after a few months, i just came clean because it was easier for me.  it took a lot of stress off my shoulders. he has been very supportive and not said a word to anyone.

good luck!

Post # 11
Member
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I told my boss when we realized we were heading down the IVF path. Things went from normal to crazy with a suddenly cancelled surgery (cancelled when gowned up and minutes from anesthesia), followed by a flurry of doctor appointments. My boss and I were friends long before she was my boss, so I knew she would be very supportive (not to mention someone on my staff went through IVF about 18 months ago and my boss was very supportive of her). The decision worked for me. Mr. LK came clean to his boss before his most recent surgery, and again got total support. It really depends on your management and how comfortable you are with being vague. I hate being vague, so it was better for me to be straightforward about it.

Post # 12
Member
4065 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I told my boss I had a non like-threatening medical issue (I had to specify non-life threatning because she got upset at first, lol), and would be needing tests etc and appointments, but would make sure I was always making up the time.

She hasn’t asked questions since. I’m 90% sure she assumes what’s going on since someone that used to be on our team had IVF, but she doesn’t ask and I don’t tell.

Post # 13
Member
9421 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t give specifics. If asked I’d just say you had a medical issue which will require some additional appointments.

Post # 14
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My boss doesn’t speak english well, so it’s easier for us to communicate via e-mail.  I e-mailed him and told him that I was dealing with some medical issues and that I just wanted him to know that I would be putting in for some time off here and there for Dr. appointments.  I also let him know that some of these appointments could come up somewhat last minute, and that I’d work my hours around them so that my work wouldn’t be affected. (I can flex hours, come in early/stay late, and my work is time sensitive, so it’s easy to get behind just missing a few hours).  He replied back that all was fine, and my health is most important, and if I needed any help with my work just to let him know.  I have no idea what he thinks is wrong with me. He randomly asks me if I’m ok when I see him. lol 

 

Post # 15
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I told my supervisor everything in detail…honestly I wish infertility wasn’t so hush hush because it makes the process so much worse. I felt that it’s not something I should have to feel ashamed about so I felt fine explaining my issue in detail even though I’ve only known my supervisor a few months. Everyone feels differently about the topic though…you don’t have to give specifics.

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