(Closed) Fess Up Bees. Have you cheated?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you cheated? Check all that apply.

    Yes, I cheated emotionally on a past spouse.

    Yes, I kissed someone else while with a past spouse.

    Yes, I gave/received oral sex to/from someone else while in a past relationship.

    Yes, I had sex with someone else while in a past relationship.

    Yes, I cheated emotionally on my current spouse.

    Yes, I kissed someone else while with my current spouse.

    Yes, I engaged in oral sex with someone else while with my current spouse.

    Yes, I had sex with someone else while with my current spouse.

    I never told my Ex that I cheated.

  • Post # 63
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    The results are surprisingly even across the board.

    Post # 64
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I hate cheating and I consider it something that would take me forever to get over if it ever happened to me.

    BUT I did emotionally cheat on an ex, and I consider physically cheating on him. He was a miserable “human”, he insulted me and abused me in every way possible. I tried to end it many times (especially after I found out he cheated on me!), but I couldn’t do it. I had a friend, and it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I meant something to someone. That ended after two weeks, but it made me feel like there was something else out there waiting for me.

    I really wanted to physically cheat on him, but as a way to get him to leave. I figured if I couldn’t do it any other way then this would be it. I couldn’t do it, though. I couldn’t justify it.

    I’m not trying to justify what I did; regardless of him being awful, I don’t believe it excuses my actions. If I had to go back and change it, I just would have left him behind long, long ago.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @imageeksowhat:  Oh my god! Your post made my stomach hurt. So glad you didn’t end up with that guy. Wow. Wow wow wow.

    Post # 66
    Hostess
    2997 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    never cheated, I had the opportunity once while with an ex that I sometimes wish I would have acted on

    Post # 67
    Member
    2780 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’ve cheated on in past relationships, when I was in high school.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I had been with my ex for a year and was miserable, but didn’t have the guts to break up with him. I ended up meeting another guy and we started hanging out. One night we had sex. I called my ex and broke up with him the next day.

    We got back together again a few months later. Stupid decision. The relationship still sucked. I broke up with him for good after another year of misery.

    Post # 69
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee

    The closest I’;ve ever come to cheating was a complicated situation. My then boyfriend broke up with me but after a few months, we basically got back together except that he said he didn’t want to be my boyfriend and there was no commitment. I loved him and his refusal to get back together killed me. I went travelling for a while and he said he was fine with me doing whatever I wanted to since we weren’t a couple. I did get involved with someone and felt horribly guilty because I suspected he wasn’t being honest with either of us. He was hurt when i told him (after he asked) and it was awkward and painful all around.

    Post # 70
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    View original reply
    @MexiPino:  I have been in a similar situation were I was the one a guy was cheating with, without my knowledge. IT IS AWFUL! I almost lost my virginity to that guy!! He’s now engaged to the woman he was seeing while he was with me. 

    I’ve never cheated on any SO but I have been cheated on. It’s the worst feeling, and I didn’t even find out about it until after we had already broken up. I feel like it’s a respect thing, like he doesn’t respect me enough to break up with me BEFORE he acts on these feelings/urges. IDK if I could ever forgive someone who cheated on me, I guess it depends on the situation and the level of commitment we’re in (i.e. if we’re married I would try harder to fix the relationship than if we were just dating).

    Post # 72
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    View original reply
    @QueenofCups:  Wow I think we might have the same ex. -__- 

    Post # 73
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @Paiger8:  I seem to have that same “issue”! hahahaha

    Post # 74
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have never cheated.  The closest I’ve ever come to cheating is having a crush on somebody while I was with a former Boyfriend or Best Friend (not my FI).  I never acted on it; the other guy never even knew I liked him, and it was partially because my Boyfriend or Best Friend was completely ignoring me and the guy (who was a friend of mine) was treating me better than my Boyfriend or Best Friend was.  

    I don’t think it counts as emotional cheating.  I knew that nothing would change between us and he didn’t know that I liked him.  We never spoke about it, even years after all of this.  Plus, my Boyfriend or Best Friend had already pretty much bowed out of the relationship, we just hadn’t made it official yet.  Typically, when you don’t even call your Girlfriend for two months, the relationship is pretty much over.

    Also, my (obviously now ex) Boyfriend or Best Friend is probably gay.  He came out as “bisexual” after we broke up but he’s dated nothing but guys since we broke up and I was the only girl he ever dated (unless something has changed recently; I don’t really keep up with him).  So, yeah.

    Post # 75
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee

    Nope.  I’m inclined to very strict monogamy as it is, but if I weren’t, the emotional trauma from having my first sexual partner cheat on me with my best friend pretty much guaranteed that I’ll never do it to anyone myself.

    Post # 76
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    I kissed someone else while I was dating my ex boyfriend.  I never cheated on SO, although when we were long distance I was probably overly flirtatious because I was a teenager and very dependent on attention from men.  I still never did anything inappropriate though- and since he was also young I’m sure he was flirting with girls (or allowing girls to flirt with him).

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