Post # 16
mrstravelbee12 : These women are not what I would consider close friends. I agree with a PP, after you get settled from being married, you should try to meet some new friends. They may not be BFFs, but surely you can connect with women who are interested in you and your life.
Should our friends be as interested in our wedding as us, no! But these women never mention your wedding?! My work associates would ask how wedding planning was going. Did they want to hear every detail about the wedding, no! But, it was a kind and polite gesture to acknowledge a big event in my life.
Your friends don’t have to talk about your wedding daily, but as your friend, they should be interested in your life as a whole, and your wedding is a “part” of that. Hopefully you have continued to show interest in their lives as well.
You and PPs are right, you will still remember this in the years to come… The good news is it will not still sting! Hopefully you will meet some great friends you can make fun memories with and who are interested in your life.
One very important thing to remember… Everything is not what it appears in those cute happy social media pictures! So much of that is for show. But for now focus on planning a wedding that is special to you and your FH! 🙂
Post # 17
mariana1114 : how can i beat that solo bachelorette in Bali. Sounds amazeballs!
Post # 18
I feel ya. All of my bridesmaids live all over and didn’t organize one. Like you I’m not mad at them just sad I don’t get to experience it. I tried to throw a casual get together in the town my family and some of my friends lives when I was visting but it was me and one other girl. While it was fun it wasn’t the girls night out I was hoping for. There’s a bumble for BFFs? Tell me more about this. I might need to check this out. I’ve recently moved had haven’t made many friends.
Post # 19
I think I’ll be in the same situation :/
Post # 20
mrstravelbee12 : I’m not having any of the bridesmaid luncheons, bridal shower, batchelorette party, bar crawl, spa days. My cousins and friends all had multiple showers, trips to Vegas, engagement parties, spa days etc. my future Mother-In-Law is throwing us an engagement party but that’s it. I have friends but they have kids and/or have been traumatized by weddings or are past the whole partying phase since they are older. I went gown shopping alone bc my mom died and the rest of my family isn’t really that nice to me and my most stylish friends live.across the country and I would have felt terrible making them feel obligated. Also partially for these reasons I decided to elope just us two.
I don’t really feel bad and I’m going to share bc it might make you feel better. A lot of times these girl fun feats are drama central. My cousins all had these blow out spa weekends and the fighting was awful. These days many people are strapped for money and are maxed out on time with their kids so doing anything fun for themselves is probably far from their minds. Partying, drinking, brunching is far from a lot of people’s minds. You are a wonderful bride for footing all these bills for the bridesmaids. Why don’t you treat yourself to a spa day. ‘Maybe you know another bride to go with.
Post # 21
Hey everyone – thanks so much for your comments and support. It means so much to me. Mad props to the woman doing the solo party in Bali – how amazing is that??!?!!
It is nice to know I’m not the only woman feeling like this. And summerrain123, thank you for sharing your story. You are 100% right. I know quite a few girls who went on blowout Bach parties and they were drama central.
Not to mention, I’ve also talked to quite a few girls who went begrundigly on a Bach trip and complained like crazy about the cost, feeling ridiculous in the matching tanks, etc. I’m not saying that most of these parties aren’t fun- I’m sure quite a few women have the time of their lives- but social media doesn’t necessarily accurately represent the dynamic. Particularly since my girls are old friends who don’t know each other, the parties would probably be awkward anyway. I guess I just feel sad because I’m the type of person that has always been very thoughtful – making photo collages and videos on these girls birthdays, throwing a surprise party for one of them when they came back from study abroad, sending care packages when they’re going through a breakup, etc. I know that a lot of women aren’t “thoughtful” like this, but it hurts to see that a few of these women have coordinated Bach parties and showers for their other friends, but not me. I guess I’m just sad because I still consider them to be very important even though we don’t hang on a daily basis. I do contact them several times a week and listen to their boy drama, etc. I guess I’m just a little bummed they don’t ask about the wedding. Maybe I will express to my Maid/Matron of Honor how important staying in the suite together the night before the wedding is, and how much it would mean to me. I recently discovered that her bf works weekends and couldn’t get off for my wedding, o I highly doubt she’d bring another date with her. In this scenario I would hope she’d stay with me. I do have a group chat but they aren’t responsive 🙁
Thank you all again for sharing your experiences with me. It’s nice to know I’m not the only woman who feels this way. It seems like this wedding has made me realize that I miss female companionship. I did make a great friend about a year ago on Bumble BFF- You download the regular Bumble app, but you can set your preferences to find female friends only! Bumble has two settings- dating or BFF for women. I’ve found most of the women are also in steady relationships but are either new to the area they live in, or simply don’t have many female friends. It is an awesome app! While I didn’t join with enough time to become “bridesmaid close” with anyone, I foresee becoming closer with these women in the future and look forward to meeting more friends! It is not easy being young and living in the ‘burbs sometimes.
Thanks again everyone. I feel much better knowing I am not alone in my feelings. When my mom/aunt’s friend tried planning a shower for me and picked out these adorable Disney invites, and I realized I didn’t have enough friends or family to even warrant a written invitation I felt so sad. And when they tried to coordinate a spa night for the bridal party, no one could come or find a date that worked… I just felt really alone. I just have to be grateful that I’m so lucky to have found my ultimate best friend – my fiancé- at a young age.
Post # 22
mrstravelbee12 : saw this and thought of you! You totally have other brides in the same boat! She’s created a business around this!!
You also have to listen to her podcast she’s adorable