(Closed) FFIL doesn’t see the need to start planning yet!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yikes!

I would def want to put down a deposit to hold your date. The only thing is, keep in mind that anything could happend and Future Father-In-Law could change his mind or something could come up.

If that is the place you both want, you should def put down the deposit.

Post # 5
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Eeek! I hope it works out. When we were looking for a venue, we couldn’t book the places we wanted bc they were already booked!! We ended up doing a Destination Wedding, but I know how stressful it is. The guys just don’t get it! lol

 

Post # 6
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would email the venue manager (you can set this up ahead of time) and say ‘it looks like two weekends out of march are already taken.  What is the chance that the other two will still be available in a few months when we’re ready to put down the deposit?’ to which she will reply ‘FAT CHANCE’ and you can then forward to your Future Father-In-Law.  Yes its manipulative but unless they’re willing to pay out of their asses because they waited until the last minute, you gotta do what you gotta do!

Edited for the worst possible grammar.

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s a bit tacky to put the deposit down then ask for reimbursement. It’s quite delicate when someone else is paying; since it’s their money, you may have to do some things on their timeline, or do some things “their way.” That may mean giving in on their requests to invite so-and-so, or have a certain style of music, or whatever. Hopefully as you go through this, you’ll learn how to pick your battles and how to compromise, but this probably is not a battle you want to pick. Starting with the battle of wills so early just sets the tone for a long and drawn-out series of battles.

I would put the deposit down and be prepared to not be reimbursed. Explain to Future Father-In-Law that this venue is perfect for you, and you don’t mind covering the deposit to eliminate risk of losing it. This may actually prompt him to write the check for you, or reimburse later, but if not, it’s a small expense in the grand scheme of things, and it gets your venue locked in without setting the stage for months of family drama.

Post # 8
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re adults. If you truly want that day and venue, you’re going to have to put a deposit on it. Pure and simple. Venues usually need to be reserved a YEAR in advance.

Post # 9
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yikes. That sucks. I think you really need to chat with your Fiance so you’re both on the same page. The reality is, if you don’t put a deposit down now, there is a chance that someone else will snag the date and you won’t be able to have a March wedding at your first choice venue (and of course, there is a chance that you may still get it…that’s the thing, there is no way of really knowing). That’s just a fact. I would put it that way to your Fiance (you can’t really debate with facts).

Also, when we were deciding on our venue, they put a ‘soft’ hold on our date – meaning that if someone else called to inquire about it, they would call us and let us know first and give us the option to put the deposit down then. You might want to call them and ask them if they could put a soft hold on your date while you decide (and just call you if someone else inquires).

Post # 11
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Find out from the venue what dates in April, May and June are booked already- that will help give Future Father-In-Law (and FI) a clue at how quick they can fill up. 

You can also ask them how they feel about the wedding being on Friday, because if he waits too long, that’ll be the only day available. This come from the bride with a six-month engagement…a couple of venues almost laughed at me when I asked about Saturday openings.

I have reminded Fiance more than once- “If you’d proposed sooner, we would have had more options!” 

Post # 13
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would almost bring Future Father-In-Law to the venue to show it to him, and then while he’s there I’m sure the manager will be like, yes, your son and his fiancee are considering X date, but unfortunately the only thing we have open now is X number of months later. Maybe then he’ll realize it’s not just you being antsy but being realistic based on what the venue has told you?

Post # 15
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BetterSherm:  I don’t know how old he is aka email saavy, but maybe have the vendor contact you with information about what dates are available that you could forward to him, saying, hey just heard from the venue, again appreciate your willingness to help pay for the wedding, it appears we need to put down a deposit to reserve by X date. Just an idea.

The topic ‘FFIL doesn’t see the need to start planning yet!’ is closed to new replies.

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