- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hi bees, so, to say the least I’ve had an interesting night. Not good in the least.
This is my first major wedding “drama” and I don’t like the taste of it at ALL.
Future Father-In-Law came over to see what kinds of “tools” (hammers, nails, etc) Fiance nees for xmas, and then we sat down to talk wedding/wedding money etc while I was wrapping gifts.
A little backstory: Future Father-In-Law hasn’t really taken part in the wedding, well, no parents in general have. Fiance and I are paying 100% for wedding, and already have all the $$ saved up in a separate account. We haven’t once asked for a dime, or appeared to be in financial stress with anything relating to the wedding, our new home, or bills, etc. Also, for the past 3 years, we’ve never had any bad run-ins with my FI’s family, but I somehow just thought that the FFIL’s side never really liked me (without spending a minute getting to know me) I’ve never really done anything that warrents an attack on me or my family.
Anyways, Future Father-In-Law appears to be drunk and still drinking when we get to the discussion part, so he is rambling, and repeating stupid stuff. He goes on and on about how FI’s step-siblings are terrible, and don’t know how to take care of themselves (they are currently living with Future Father-In-Law, while we are homeowners and doing great). He asks how the $$ for wedding is going and where it’s coming from. I explain to him that my parents have offered a little bit, but aren’t great with $$ so I feel bad taking any at all from them.
He goes on and on and on about how he’s a “traditionalist” and the brides family pays for the wedding, etc. and how we should get the wedding that the brides family pays for (in other words, we shouldn’t, or Fiance shouldnt be paying for any of the wedding). We take this as, you shouldn’t be getting married since brides family can’t pay for one. (and once or twice he slipped and called it a “funeral” instead of a wedding, great, huh?) Quite a few times he references that we shouldn’t be having an elaborate wedding, and it’s stupid since no one really cares about weddings, but the bride should have the wedding she wants (total contradiction, I know) Note about elaboricity(is that a word?): Our wedding is under 6k. Most everything is DIY, and a family friend is catering, family friend is doing DJ, etc. Not elaborate by any means.
He goes on to discuss how he’s raised his son to be amazing and whatnot (I totally agree with this, Fiance is quite awesomely responsible), and he just wants to make sure that nothing’s going to hinder him in his sucess. Which I take as a personal hit, saying that I’m keeping him down.
After a while of the same old same old, I finally break down, crying and the whole nine yards. (hyperventilating cry too, when I’m really upset) He freaks out, like “oh man, I didn’t mean to make you cry, oh no, please dont cry” gets on his knees like hes trying to make it better (another note: I’m stubborn and hard-headed, once I’m livid, I don’t go back). I pretty much go off on him for not even listening and how dare he come into MY living room, drunk and ranting on me for something that I haven’t even done, and how he’s not listening to a word we’re saying, etc. He agrees that I’m right (I assume to make me stop flipping out), but then goes a full circle and starts up with the stupidity again.
Fiance finally decides we need to kick him out, and while hes going out to the car, the door is shut, I’m finishing a gift (and I’d wrapped like 8 while hyperventilating, pretty sweet) and I hear Future Father-In-Law tell Fiance that he did it on purpose to see if I’d stand up for Fiance, and how he can see that I’ve cried for you, and how he sees that I love you, so he loves me now.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?!?
Sorry for the intermission part, I’m still thinking that. So, what do you girls think? I’m like, WHOA, really? That’s complete and utter crap. I was sitting there, wrapping THE GUY’S xmas gift and never been anything but sugar and pie to him, and he has the audacity to think I’m a terrible person for his son?!? (meanwhile, his WIFE, step-mother to Fiance, is a complete and utter B1$#% to the entire family, ALL THE TIME).
OMG. Sorry, rant over. Opinions? hugs?