(Closed) FFIL fights with everyone – where the heck is he going to sit?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Wow, sorry you have to deal with this on your big day! He sounds like hard work.

Pehaps he can sit outside… alone…. facing a corner? 😉

Seriously though, is there any way your FI could have a word to him and kindly ask who he might like to sit with and/or tell him that the way he acted at the previous wedding was embarrasing/rude and will not be tolerated at yours?


It’s true about not being able to choose your family huh!

Post # 5
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Put him with as much of his family as you can, as far away from FMIL as you can. And preferable near a door so he won’t get to make a scene when he leaves to pout!

Post # 7
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

We had a sort-of similar situation and sat my FIL with my parents. MIL and SFIL had their own table. It worked, and once dinner is over and everyone starts walking around and dancing he can go talk to (or pout or whatever) whomever he wants.


Post # 8
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My parents are divorced and my father and SM are difficult to deal with too.  We are putting the officiant and his wife at their table.  Does your FFIL not have any siblings you can put with them. 

Post # 9
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Talk to his siblings and see how they feel about him being at their table. Is there anyone he gets along with?  Does he have any friends invited?  Who are your most patient or deaf relatives?  in my family, we always put mean grandpa next to deaf grandpa and that worked out well since deaf grandpa couldn’t hear anything mean grandpa said. 

Post # 10
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ugh that stinks.  I like the idea of putting him with your parents, and possibly the officiant.  It would be a place of “honor” for him, and he probably doesn’t know those people well enough to fight too fast.

Post # 11
1817 posts
Buzzing bee

A couple of things:  first off, use tough love and sit him with his siblings.

Next:  I recommend your DH sit down with him and say “Dad, I am not going to tolerate you going off in a corner to pout at my wedding like you did at my siblings weddings.  I am also not going to tolerate you sending me scathing emails for weeks afterward because I spoke to Mom and Bill.  We need to hash this out now.  I want you there and you are important to me, but I will not tolerate the way you behaved at the other weddings.”

Then, call whatever bluff he comes up with.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

Post # 13
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@skippydarling:  Can you sit him with a mix of family and strangers? 

Would it be possible for your FI to have a talk with him before the wedding? If it wouldn’t do any good, don’t bother. If he tries to bitch that you talked to your MIL or Bill after the wedding, tell him he’s being absurd and you won’t listen to you.

Post # 14
6016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Maybe you could have him do a reading at the wedding… then his ego has some stroking before the reception.  Then I’d sit him with his own family.  They helped create the monster… and besides don’t you like your Mom’s friends why would you want to inflict him on them 😀 

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