Post # 1
Future Father-In-Law has decided he “may not” (ie. “wont”) be able to help pay for anything for the wedding. His reasoning is that he needs knee surgery, something he has known about for well over 2 years now, and that Future Brother-In-Law just headed off to college after doing 2 years at community college and that the two costs together mean he cant help with our wedding. This is killing Fiance because his dad has always been somewhat of a deadbeat and had been showing some promise recently. Future Father-In-Law and his gf have been calling us nonstop for financial info for the wedding and FBIL’s college and worst of all FMIL’s finances and how she can afford to pay for everything. How do I handle this without telling them off? I have already decided to ask them to uninvite some of their guests if they decide they cannot actually help at all.
*They emailed me a list of 100 people to invite the day they found out we were engaged and we were instructed not to eliminate anyone, even gf’s aunts, uncles, and cousins who we dont know.
Post # 3
@Riot: This is a boundaries issue: If they can’t let you know by X date if they are helping, then they do not get to vote. Meaning, you can slash their guest lis. Really, they don’t have to help, though. It’s optional. Good luck!
Post # 4
Politely tell them that because of previous discussions you were counting on their funding to assist with paying for guests from their guest list. Now that their fundng is not available you will be altering your plans to include only the guests that your budget allows. Give them a number and tell them to slash their list till they reach that number. If they want more people to attend they will have to fork over the bucks UP FRONT.
ETA: Give them deadlines. A deadline for slashing their list and a deadline for additional funds (if they say they want that). It seems like if you give them an inch they will take a mile. Save yourself the headache.
Post # 6
have you already sent out the invititations? are you still getting married in october?
Post # 7
Thanks Bees! Unfortunatly invites have gone out and we are under the 45 day mark so it will be really hard to call and explain why they are getting uninvited but since I dont know most of them I think it might not be too hard.