- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
So Fiance and I had been on holiday abroad for a week…we are in a LDR and Fiance is temporarily living with his parents, due to work. His mother asked to go to lunch with him on his return home, and promptly told him that his father had told her (twice) that he no longer loves her…both Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law are 66, Future Mother-In-Law has just retired, Future Father-In-Law works full time and is very well paid. Their mortgage has been paid off for about 5 years, they have a very healthy amount in savings and their house is worth about half a million pounds ($750,000). Both are in very good health.
Obviously Fiance is very taken aback when his mother tells him this…Fiance tells her that if the marriage is not salvagable, they should sell the house and go their seperate ways – apparently it’s not, relations between them have been very rocky for at least 20 years and Fiance (44) thinks they should have split when he went to university. They married very young, just 21, purely because Future Mother-In-Law got pregnant with Fiance. FI is an only child.
Future Mother-In-Law replies to Fiance by saying she doesn’t want to sell the house…this is news to Fiance, she’s never liked the house, always whinges about it to anyone who listens (including me) saying that she wanted a different house and that Future Father-In-Law basically forced her into the purchase. They’ve been talking about selling it for at least a decade. Lots of arguments about where they should live once it’s sold (FMIL wants to go back to her home country, Future Father-In-Law wants to live near his family), so it’s been 10 years of living in limbo.
The part that has upset Fiance the most is that Future Mother-In-Law even said that the only thing stopping her from agreeing to sell the house is the fact that Fiance is living there! It made him feel guilty, and he told his mother that he will be moving out as soon as possible anyway, so that’s not a consideration.
This happened a couple of weeks ago, and now everyone is living as if nothing has ever been said…
Am I wrong to think this whole living in denial is insane? I couldn’t share a house, let alone a room, and a bed, with someone who told me they didn’t love me! Let alone still be cooking their meals, doing their washing, etc…I told Fiance that if he ever said that once to me – let alone twice- he’d be looking for somewhere else to live the very next day.
How would fellow bees react if this happened to them?