(Closed) FFIL used the term “cat lady” with me

posted 6 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

To be honest, it sounds like he was trying to make a joke out of it. I would let it go…I always find that it’s best to pick and choose my battles with my in-laws. This is definitely one I would complain to my Darling Husband about, but never mention again.

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t be offended. Sorry. Some people don’t like animals, its not a crime. Plus there are far worse things he could have said. I’d let this one go.

Post # 5
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

A friend of mine has 7 cats.  Yes, 7!  I tell her all the time that if she weren’t married, I’d call her the cat lady… we are dear friends so we can joke with each other about these things.  Fiance & I have 3 dogs, so we’re the dog people.  I doubt he meant any offense, but he may not know how his comment came across.

Post # 6
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If it bothers you enough, have your Fiance say something to him to not talk like that.

My Father-In-Law has made the comment “it’s just a dog” to me several times, and I finally made Darling Husband say something to him about it. I found it exteremly offensive, especially when they flipped out about their dog all the time. They get SO upset when she gets near our dog, in fear he’s going to attack her (when she’s the antisocial one).

I haven’t heard that comment since then. Any time they bring up something else about our animals, I make a point to remark about their dog. Usually shuts them up real quick. Obviously you can’t do this since they don’t hvae pets, but I’d at least have Fiance talk to them if it bothers you enough.

 

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 I dont see this as offensive.

Post # 8
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree. I get that it offended you but it’s not worth wasting your energy on. “Cat lady” is a very innocent joke, I wouldn’t even call it an insult. I have tons of pets, and my best friend has 2 cats, I call him a cat lady all the time. And he’s right that a lot of people don’t have pets. That is true, I don’t think he meant it to be mean. It sounds like having pets is really important to you, but just because they choose not to doesn’t mean they’re judging you something. They just don’t have pets.

Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I think you are over reacting. it sounds like he was just trying to be funny. id let it go.

Post # 10
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the PP, you are over reacting.  I kid with a co worker she is the cat lady and she has two cats. I have a cat myself.  I think you need to just step away and calm down a bit

Post # 11
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it. He was probably trying to be funny, even though it’s not. 

My Father-In-Law shows pretty open distain for my love of animals, even saying at one point that if I want something to take care of I should just have a baby instead of getting a dog – I ignore it and know that his life is less meaningful for not knowing the joy of having a pet 🙂 

Post # 13
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

don’t be so hard on him! it sounds like a joke. i’m super sensitive over “dumb” things more frequently than i would like. i try to remember “assume positive intent.” this means, instead of thinking someone is attacking you (unless it is blatant) assume the best. he was making a joke. he was trying to connect.

The core of the idea is that human beings are not inherently malicious, conniving creatures and that most of our ideas and actions are well-intentioned. Even many of the ones that SEEM spiteful and rude are often driven by positively-fueled emotions like concern, compassion, and curiosity. Obviously, some people are just assholes. And some non-assholes occasionally make asshole moves. But to me, “assume positive intent” doesn’t mean, “Be a naive fool who trusts everyone to be filled with Mother Teresa-level compassion.” It means, “Try to examine sentiments and actions from multiple perspectives before allowing yourself to feel hurt or offended.”

http://www.alreadypretty.com/2011/08/assume-positive-intent.html

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