Post # 1
My fiance really only has one concern regarding our reception: FOOD! We are having a very quaint, rustic reception in a barn and always imagined a smoked BBQ menu (pulled pork, brisket, smoked fish, etc) and real southern comfort food. However, now that we’re getting down to brass tacks, it really isn’t a smart move for many reasons.
1. We live in NJ and although we’ve had some great pit smoked BBQ, it’s hard to find a restaurant that will cater a wedding of 100+
2. A lot of these places use plastic utensils and paper napkins! NO!!! No, no, no!!!!!
3. Our venue requires us to BYOB – who is going to serve these drinks and carry the license to do so? Not these BBQ joints we’ve seen!
There is a caterer willing to do everything for us, but it’s regular wedding food. I’m inquiring about options to switch out for cocktail hour i.e. pigs in a blanket over date wrapped figs with gruyer cheese (!??!???), but my fiance is not having it! Keep in mind, we had great BBQ at our engagement party and can do the same for our rehearsal dinner if he wants. WHY ISN’T HE WILLING TO COMPROMISE?!!?
I guess this is more or a vent post than anything, but if anyone has any suggestions on how to tackle this issue, I’d appreciate it!! I want him to be happy, but he also needs to be reasonable
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Everything doesn’t have to come from the same place. You can hire servers and bartenders, and rent silverware, plates, napkins, etc.
Post # 4
@MeiFrancis: Agreed, and that’s the point he’s trying to drive home. However, we’re on a budget and wouldn’t that start to get pricey? Not to mention, confusing! I suppose I’m looking for a one stop shop in all this. Maybe b/c I also know that if we go about it piecemeal, I’m going to end up being the one taking care of it all!
Post # 5
Oh, also, the food my fiance wants is not on the “preferred caterer” list provided to us by the venue. If we want someone off that list, it will cost us another $800 or something. NO!!!!!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@BurlapnLace: If this is the only thing he cares about, I would let him have it if he organizes it.
Post # 7
@BurlapnLace: What a PITA! My sweet Boyfriend or Best Friend also turned into a horrifying Groomzilla when we were engaged (and has since returned to normal post-wedding).
He also refused to listen to reason (like that having BBQ for the rehearsal dinner AND the wedding is over-kill)
Post # 8
@BurlapnLace: errr…. What other way is there to eat barbeque besides with plastic utensils and paper napkins? Just saying…
Post # 9
@BurlapnLace: Have you priced out any barbecue caterers? Even with the $800 non-preferred vendor fee, odds are it will be low enough in price compared to a traditional caterer that it would still be less expensive. Plus, when I have been to weddings that served barbecue, it was always a buffet just due to the nature of the food prep, so you could actually get away with less servers. Also, when catering companies provide dishes and linens, they are usually a line item in the total cost, so it may not be that much more to source them separately.
Post # 10
@BrandNewBride: It just took me 5 min to figure out what PITA meant!
I really do want him to have this, but yeah, he won’t compromise. I understand his concern with “wedding food” and how generic and blah it can be, but this is just a little too out of the box. I would put the whole project in his hands, but then we’ll end up with guests licking BBQ sauce off their fingers and plastic flatware.
I’M WEARING WHITE!!!! LOL!!!! It’s still a wedding! We want to create a casual atmosphere, but I still want to keep it classy, you know?
I’m thinking this: if he let’s me get my way with an all inclusive caterer and we can tweek the hors d’ouvere (sp?) menu, we can do a BBQ rehearsal, and I’ll surprise him with the bacon bar he wants (good Lord…!!!)
Post # 11
@BurlapnLace: Just an idea, but contact caterers that contract with the colleges/universities in your area. They have a wide assortment of dishes they do, and are a one stop shop (even desserts).
But also keep in mind, DIYing your liquor and hiring licensed bartenders will probably be 1/3 of the cost of having a caterer doing it.
Post # 12
@BurlapnLace: This can be done if you find the right caterer. Any caterer who is any good will be able to give you exactly what you want within your budget. I was the one who wanted the simple BBQ but my Darling Husband is also a foodie and wanted so much more. The compromise ended up being a fabulous caterer who provided us an amazing menu of southern fusion ideas and mediteranean twists. It was a huge hit. And they did bartending, busing and real plates. Haha!!
Post # 13
Is your problem with the paper plates that they’re disposable/wasteful or that they look tacky? You could rent place settings separately or borrow a “shabby chic” collection from friends, in any case.
Post # 14
@BurlapnLace: Just do a bit of thinking outside the box when it comes to food. I had the same problem as you (and I’m in NJ) because we were thinking “fancy looking bbq buffet” which we had gotten the idea when we went to Percy Street on South Street in Philadelphia, which has this strange semi nicer but still BBQ food type set up on WAX PAPER AND TRAYS. I think its how they present the food and the atmosphere honestly:
See how the plates are on trays?
We ended up decided on a caterer that offers out of the box food. Its actually a restaurant in the area that happens to do off premises catering. One of dishes that Fiance made a must was the Stout-braised brisket (BBQ-esque).
Post # 15
Give him a budget and the money from the budget and said. Make it happen with your requests if he cant make it work then he needs to let it go.
Post # 16
@BurlapnLace: First off- I have to admit I am suprised that your caterer you can use won’t work with you to offer a BBQ inspired menu- or offer some “traditional” food items, but then have mini pulled BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, offer half corn on the cobs, coleslaw, offer ribs- even as a passed app?
Our in house caterer offers thier menu. But every request they have had, they have done for us- everything!!
Have you talked to them about adding some of your own signature dishes?