Post # 1
Ill admit, wedding planning has been stressful, not fun, anxiety provoking, and has just been a hassle for me. I’m not one of those future brides who is excited to get down to the nitty gritty. I just want to skip to the big day! One of my big frustrations has been that my fiancé is pretty lax and has been giving me a very generic “Whatever you want babe” answer when I asked for his opinion or input on things. Weirdly enough, the one thing he does have an opinion on is the cake. He feels like the cake is a waste. In fact, he feels like a cake-of any kind- is pointless and he doesn’t want one. That goes for cake, cupcakes, pies, you make it. For dessert, we’re having a strawberry shortcake bar and he feels like that’s enough. He feels like having that AND a cake is wasteful. I tried to talk to him so he could hear my point of view because I would love to have a cake and have a cake cutting ceremony. He also stated that “No one will even notice if we don’t have a cake anyway” which I totally disagree with.
Has anyone ever been to a wedding where there hasn’t been a cake or anything like it? Should I just try to pick out a small cake or pie or set up cup cakes on my own? Any other suggestions from bees who might be skipping the cake idea?
Post # 2
Hi Bee I’ve been to weddings recently where the guests themselves seem to care less and less about the cake really. I know he said nothing like it but see if he will be open to the idea of a cake made out of cake pops that is fun. Guests will appreciate cupcakes for sure! theres also a donut cake, or three homemade pies lined up. As long as you have some sore of dessert you will be fine.
Post # 3
You already have a dessert, so I get why he thinks 2 are a waste. TBH I never get why there are multiple desserts served – ie a plated dessert and then cake. It seems silly, and if you are only doing it so you can get a cute picture, I’m sure you can do the same thing with your shortcake bar (which sounds amazing!!).
If he’s been pretty lax about everything else, I tend to be on the side of letting him have this one thing. It is his wedding too!
We didn’t have cake at all. We did little mini pies that were self-serve (rest of the meal was plated).
Post # 4
I’ve never been to a wedding without a cake. Is it necessary? Of course not. Will it be noticed? Absolutely. Alot of couples do the small cake for cake cutting, then cupcakes. Or the small cake then a large sheet cake hidden in back that gets cut up and handed out
Post # 5
When he thinks “cake”, is he thinking of traditional multi tiered wedding cake?
Have you shown him pics of a small cake on a pedestal cake stand?
Post # 6
He’s been so relaxed about everything else I’d give him this.
You can get the same pictures from your shortcake bar as a PP pointed out.
This isn’t one of those things I would choose to fight over.
Post # 7
I think that this isn’t worth disagreeing with your fiance about. You already have a dessert, so I get your fiance’s opinion that another cake isn’t worth it.
We’re doing a dessert table with a donut cake, small sheet cake, and cookies in order to give everyone something to like. We’re also having a small keto cake for us to cut and eat since fi and I eat keto.
Post # 8
Most of the weddings I have been to have had dessert bars instead of cake, this is as well as a dessert after the main course and I have to say hardly any guests look at them twice. Even when there has been a cake I haven’t seen it cut for the guests since I went to weddings as a child.
Post # 9
if you both dont want cake, i thin not having cake is totally fine.
him “drawing a line” if you want cake seems bizarre to me though, you can have a small cake for ppl who dont want strawberry shortcake. It’s really not so crazy to give your guests a choice and give you the little photo op you’re hoping for.
FWIW like julies1949 says–you can have cake without it being a big fancy wedding cake. DH and I bought two cakes (no other dessert) from a local bakery. They make beautiful cakes, but they aren’t wedding cakes, so we spent less than $200 for 72 servings of cake (which somehow our 40 guests made dissapear! 😮 I’m sure the staff ate some too but still impressed with that one…).
Im pretty sure if you search you can easily find my wedding day recap if you really want to see it, but really we just cut a normal cake similar to one of the ones julies1949 posted a pic of and it was yummy and we got the photo op and all was good. Nothing to make a fuss over, even if he personally doesnt want any.
Post # 10
I showed him that or even just us having a cupcake to cut into. Nope, he wants nothing to do with it.
Post # 11
that’s so interesting! I’ve been to 6 weddings in the past two years and they all had some form of cake cutting.
Post # 12
As a guest, if there was no dessert of any kind served, I would definitely notice. I’m someone who really looks forward to cake at weddings.
I’ve never heard of a strawberry shortcake bar. Details?
Post # 13
I’m not into cake myself, but we still got a small 6in round cake to cut into. and we got cupcakes for the guests, as well as cookies and other pasteries.
If you are serving shortcake, that’s good for the guests. But if you want to do the traditional cake thing, just get a small one for the photos.
Post # 14
our theme is rustic farm/ barn so it’s a DIY strawberry shortcake station. It has buiscuits, strawberries from a local farm, and whipped cream. Pretty basic.
Post # 15
Can you cute the biscuit? I am not a dessert person so this would go unnoticed by me. If you’ve always wanted a “cake cutting” moment you need to explain that to him. You only get the one shot at it. I think he can be more flexible… just don’t feed him cake he doesn’t want.