FH doesn't want my ill mother living with us

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 76
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee

dwiltonc90 :  Why do you want to marry this guy, again? You’re letting him ruin your life by completely shutting you down when it comes to highly important issues to you (family, adopting children). If you marry him, you’ll be facing a lifetime of resenting him for having a family (that he won’t even allow you to be a part of, by the way) and denying you the same opportunity to feel that sense of inclusiveness as a family unit.

 

Please, *PLEASE* reconsider marrying him. While he may have some wonderful qualities, he’s completely lacking when it comes to the important stuff that SHOULD NOT be compromised on. 

Post # 77
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

dwiltonc90 :  With all due respect Bee, your fiance is a massive douche. 

I do think you should strongly consider a care facility for your mom- for her sake and yours- but it’s not cool how insensitive and unfeeling your fiance seems toward you regarding this. All he’s offering you is a flat out no to her living with you without seeming the least bit sensitive to how heartbreaking and difficult this all is on you. 

Ditto on the subject of adoption. Again, as with your mom, he doesn’t seem to care how you feel on an issue, it’s very much his way or the highway, devoid of compassion or concern for your feelings. 

“our primary unit should be us and his two kids from his first marriage” Not only is this a very one-sided and selfish assumption of his, but you are not treated as a proper member of this ‘primary unit’. You seem to be excluded an awful lot and, as in all other areas with him, devoid of any say or consideration. 

He’s a selfish ass who expects you to fit into his life on his terms. Why are you signing on for a lifetime of being treated like a second class citizen?

Post # 78
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

hermom :  Totally agree with this. I’m a step-mom too and my husband is step-dad to my kids and this whole treating OP like an outcast isn’t normal or acceptable. It isn’t even nice. Very telling that her fiance is okay with her being excluded so very often. 

Post # 79
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee

Bee, why are you sacrificing your needs, desires, and happiness for your fiance’s? He will always treat you like a second class family member.

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