(Closed) FH is overweight and doesnt want to do engagement session. :(

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Why don’t you do a shoot right before the wedding? That way you have time to lose more weight and you still get the photos. you don’t need to use them for your save the dates.

Post # 4
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yeah, why not do it in late April?

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Fiance didn’t want to do one either but I basically didn’t give him an option lol. I knew we needed to do it to get comfy with each other in front of the camera for the wedding.  He went along with it and wasn’t looking forward to it, but we ended up having a really fun time doing it together.  Motivate your man with a reward after!  We went and got a beer before hand, even had one during the shoot with our photographer.  After, we went and had dinner and drinks at our favorite restaurant (my treat!)

-You could always do an anniversary shoot instead?

Post # 6
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband and I didn’t do an engagement photoshoot, but I am planning to either have a photoshoot done while we’re on our honeymoon or for our 1 year anniversary, if I can’t pull off the honeymoon shoot. Maybe that is something to consider?

Post # 7
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s a tough one…..my Fiance is not interested in engagement photo shoot for a different reason…he thinks it’s so private, so help me god!

he said-whatever pics we can take ourselves is fine with him. But then again there is no guarantee he will like any of them. And plus, he did such an amazing job picking a ring-a ring itself deserves a photo shoot:)

As for you guys…just do engagement photo shoot later. Our wedding is in May as well, and my photographers are flying from overseas one week before the wedding. So i hoping he would agree for photo shoot then. Sinse they are my friends and he loves their work:)

Post # 9
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

As a photographer I’d say let it go.  Doing an engagement session for a male subject who is against the idea is no fun for anyone.  Engagement sessions will sometimes help ease anxiety about being photographed on a wedding day, and it can give you an opportunity to connect with your photographer.  But the reality of it is it’s much more awkward than the day of the wedding.  Most of the photography that day if you’ve hired a modern pro is going to be candid. And most good photographers only need about 30 minutes or so to take creative portraits of the two of you.

Post # 10
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Awww I feel badly for him but I get that you want to do it!! My Fiance thought engagement pics were stupid but he did it  anyway haha. Your Fiance probably isn’t going to lose 80 more pounds in 4 months so he may not feel any better about things when the wedding comes. But maybe if he has a good experience with the engagement pics he will feel better!! I would have him wear something really slimming and make sure to be super excited and compliment how good he looks when you see them. Can you just tell him you want to do the pics because you’re nervous about being in front of the camera? Maybe promise they won’t go on Facebook unless he approves them?

Post # 11
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always wanted it, but Darling Husband screwed up the planning so we didnt. I didnt want to bitch, whine and scream and nag, so we never did it.

To this day he doesnt know how upset I am that we didnt do it. But you know what? It doesnt really matter 3 years later. I do wish we had those photos, but instead I am going to make sure we get good family photos with our first kid. (to me that is more important anyway)

 What did you want out of them? If its just a reward for your weightloss, why dont you do a budoir shoot? Or another reward like a spa weekend? Or really nice lingerie you wouldnt normally get.

Post # 13
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@sheepandbear:  I agree with PPs that you should push it back.  I know that you’re in love with the idea of the tulips – which sounds gorgeous by the way! – but I also know from your post that you love your Fiance more and want him to be comfortable.  So, given the drastic options of either making him participate in a shoot that he will hate, which is bad for you AND him, and cancelling altogether, in which case you don’t get the tulips anyway, then I think pushing back is the closest thing you’re going to get to a happy medium.  Just think – this will open you up to exploring a ton of other locations for your photos that you may never have considered before!

 

ETA:  Once you settle on a date in April, you can both use it as incentive to stay on track with your diets and exercise.  Congrats on all that you have accomplished thus far!

Post # 14
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If the tables were turned, there’s no way you’d want chime into forcing you to do photos if you were uncomfortable and ashamed of your body. You have to respect his feelings. You can do std’s without photos— heck, if someone needs a photo to know who you are, they probably don’t belong on your guest list— compromise for a photo-free std and a 1-year anniversary photo shoot.

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