Post # 31
Super confused here – in your engagement post two months ago you said you and your FH are 25 – so your FH dated this girl in HIGH SCHOOL and if they haven’t dated in 10 years, then they were 15 when she cheated on him? Why are you so worried about a high school girlfriend?
Maybe you should try to have a realtionship with his grandma and mother rather than complain? Also – did he grow up with this girl? Did they know her when they were younger? They probably have an attachment to her because they’ve known her since she was a kid.
Post # 32
I did not read all of the details; however, I thought I would provide some perspective from your FH’s mother and grandmother using my own life experiences. I am connected with my ex’s family via social media and as each milestone passes they check-in, congratulate me on my successes etc. When my ex’s grandmother passed away I reached out to the family to give my condolences. He and I dated for 3+ years. Additionally, I am not at all close with my father or my extended family. My ex’s family became a second family that I could access.
Another example is my current SO’s brother ended his relationship over two years ago. My SO’s parents to this day ask me for updates on his ex (she and I have remained friends) as they dated for 4+ years.
If an individual becomes a big part of your child’s life, it is likely that they will become a big part of your life as well. It is unfortunate that they are connecting with the ex more than you… that is unfair to both you and your future-husband as it does not sound like they have either of your best-interest’s at heart. I want to clarify that I am not saying one party is right and the other is wrong — but I will say that there is room for improvement regarding communication.
Post # 33
My SIL is close friends with my DH’s ex. His mom still talks to the ex often, and loves her because she is so sweet and bubbly. I knew his ex before I ever met DH or his family and the “sweetness” and friendlyness is an act, she’s that person who is super sweet to your face and talks crap behind your back. That is not me, nor can I even try to pretend like that. It took her 2 years to stop stalking DH after they broke up and she still asks his family a lot of questions about our life even though she has had a live in BF for a while. I just ignore the bs and DH won’t even speak to her due to the gossip she spread about him.
Post # 34
- Wedding: August 2019 - Estes Park, CO
Be careful what you wish for. You may succeed in getting Little Miss Ex out of the picture and end up back here in a few months complaining how Mother-In-Law won’t get out of YOUR business and asking advice on how to keep her from nagging you about babies.