(Closed) FH on Wedding Ceremony – "Pathetic Way to amuse people?"

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013
Post # 4
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@dragonlover:  Not that he’s going about it the right way, but I kind of agree with your Fiance.  Why should you have to adjust your religious beliefs because your family won’t accept it?  I personally find it silly that any religion would tell you to shun/avoid/judge your friends and families based on their beliefs.  Don’t the teachings of Christ say to love everyone unconditionally?

Post # 5
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I understand completely. I’m Pagan and my FH is agnostic but both of our families are moderaely-conservative Christians. We’re doing a spiritual but non-religious ceremony with hints of Paganism. We’re doing a handfasting and broom jump which will surprise most people.

 

@housebee:  It’s been my experience that most Christians are okay with Buddhism, Hinduism, Judiasm, etc… but if you mention atheist, or Pagan they gt huffy or even freak out. Now this is a generalization, of course. But that’s been my experience. I tend to not tell anyone my religious beliefs. If they ask I just say that it’s private and I prefer not to talk about it. Sometimes I’ll say that I’m Pagan and sometimes they get upset like I eat babies or will try to steal their soul. It’s mostly ignorance on their part.

Post # 6
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@dragonlover:  Can you clarify something?

Are you both Pagan/Wiccan? Is he a strong practicer even if you’re not?

Its hard to respond when we only know that your family is Christian and you’re technically Pagan but not that into it…

Also I have no idea what the Wiccan/Pagan wedding rituals are that would “flip out” your family.

People attend services in different religons all the time and its not a problem… your family does know what your religion is right?

IMO as long as people know what they’re attending you do what is important to you and your Fiance, not what they want. If I’m attending a Muslim wedding, I cover up and go, I’m not going to freak out about it. Same would go with Pagan, although I don’t know if I’d have to dress a certain way for the ceremony, I wouldn’t care what you did if you were my friend or family and its your belief 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@dragonlover:  religion seems to really be creeping and and causing problems for you. have you considered a private ceremony and then a reception? you can have it look and feel exactly how you feel comfortable and celebrate your religion in a way that feels good for both of you without concern for others prejudices.

Post # 9
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Sorry, a huge chunk of my first post didn’t show up so I deleted it. Anyway, to me, this is more of an issue of communication than it is about the ceremony itself. If he does not like the idea of a toned down celebration he should say something about it, not make snide comments to the officient, and passive aggressive comments later on.  If you do not feel comfortable with a very pagan ceremony, and he does, he should be willing to help with a compromise.

At this point, I think the best thing would be for you to discuss your feelings in a way which does not cause him to become more defensive. Make the conversation about your feelings and not his faults. Something along the lines of ” I feel hurt, disrespected, angry (whatever), because I’m feeling alone in helping to plan this ceremony.”

 

 

Post # 10
Hostess
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t agree with his handling of the situation, but I agree with him in the same sense. Your wedding ceremony is supposed to be about YOU TWO, not all of your guests. Your beliefs are your beliefs, and your family (I’m sure) would understand that. They love you and accept you for who you are, and I’m sure they would realize if you were trying to make your wedding about them and not yourselves. 

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@housebee:  I was thinking this at first too, but then it seemed like the OP wasn’t really that spiritual, so she wouldn’t feel very comfortable with the ceremony either.

Is that right OP? That was confusing for me too.

Post # 13
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@michiru4ever:  It seems like to me most Christians aren’t okay with anything that isn’t Christian (which I find incredibly ironic).  Even though they say they’re “okay” with the other religions (that have a large enough following), they still think it’s believers are going to hell (eternal punishment and damnation) or purgatory, which makes it not okay.  I’m pretty much Daoist, which is somehow linked to witchcraft (????) in my FMIL’s Catholic mind.  I don’t even bother explaining it to her, she’s still trying to get my Fiance and I to “see the light” lol.

@dragonlover:  Ah ok, thank you for the clarification.  From the first post it sounded like your Fiance was practicing, and you were of the same faith, just not practicing.  Maybe ask him why he feel he needs the invocation of corners for this if he doesn’t do it normally.  Maybe he wants this ceremony to be extra special?  I think he’s feeling more hurt that you took your family’s feelings/beliefs into consideration before his (although this doesn’t seem to be the case, he could’ve interperted it that way).

Post # 15
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@dragonlover: you two need to sit and talk about things 🙁

The topic ‘FH on Wedding Ceremony – "Pathetic Way to amuse people?"’ is closed to new replies.

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