(Closed) FH says friend can 'bring a few people as long as FH knows them..'

posted 4 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Should I let FH's friend bring 'some people' along as long as FH knows them?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    12 %
    No : (47 votes)
    81 %
    Maybe (explain below) : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    9567 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Say no, say they only get plus ONE not three or four!

    Post # 4
    8159 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    no to that, he can bring a +1, not +3+

    Post # 5
    7564 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would ask FH if he’d like to invite some more friends. If not, I wouldn’t be ok with “bringing some people.” 


    Post # 6
    508 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If he isn’t having that many people there on his side then I would just let him invite a few extra.  He probably just wants to have more people.  In our case, my FI will have more people there than I will because he is local and all my family is from out of state.  I wish I had a few more people on my side but that’s just how it is I guess.

    I wouldn’t make a big deal about a few extra people if it makes him happy.

    Post # 7
    3072 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    my head about spun off my neck when I read the thread title. The answer is no. That is all.

    Post # 8
    1661 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No.  This is your wedding, not a backyard BBQ.

    Post # 9
    3887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It’s his wedding too. If he wants his friends to be able to bring a few friends, I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as he’s able to get clear numbers and names before any catering cut-off, and he makes it clear that after that cut-off, no more friends can be invited.

    Post # 10
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you are not okay with it, then tell him no! 

    Post # 11
    92 posts
    Worker bee

    I would not be personally comfortable with this. if he would like to invite more friends that is ok but it sounds like for more of a need a holiday lets go to x wedding rather then yey they are getting married i am honored they invited me

    Post # 12
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @fishbone:  That was how I felt about this issue. I have some friends from college and highschool who are closer with the friends I’m inviting to the wedding than I am. If the friends I am inviting didn’t have a date I wouldn’t mind them bringing one or two of these old friends b/c they are fun people to be around and a reception is just a giant party. I would just want to know about it in advance. I guess I never understand why the bride gets 100% veto power on everything even though a wedding involves two people agreeing to compromise and work together for the rest of their lives.

    Post # 13
    2963 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would tell him fine, as long as FI is willing to foot the bill of the extra people, no prob!

    Post # 14
    9692 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @MsGinkgo:  I’ve never heard of this. I assumed weddings were invitation only, not “hey, I heard of this great party, want to come?” I would think that if you and FI wanted to invite those folks, you would. He can’t be too close to them if their names didn’t come up.

    Since it is a budget issue, I would definitely not let it go. FI needs to know that you have numbers you need to stick to and if the guest list does need to be modified, you should do it together. I have a larger family than FI does too, but it’s not our fault 😛

    Post # 16
    8 posts
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Let him add friends if he wants them. It’s HIS day too! Just make sure he knows about the financial consequence to your relationship too.

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