- 3 years ago
My FH’s sister is in our Bridal Party, and we decided not to have a wedding with children. The only ones there the day of are the FGs/RBs, then they’re leaving after dinner.
We’ve told them all this from the beginning a year ago, and when I brought it up to her to remind her that the kids need to leave after dinner she was taken aback, like I was gniog to let her 5 and 7 y/o girls stay and party with 140 adults (over 120 of them will be drinking, for sure). She told me, “Well, then I will have to leave early, because what am I going to do?”
I told her “Find a sitter (which I would even throw money towards or cover all of it if it’s a money issue – but it’s really not) so you and your husband can actually enjoy the night out. Because were you really planning on staying til midnight with them here? (I love them, but they are very clingy). Ask your husband to take them home so you can stay and be a part of this with your family?”
She didn’t respond and we haven’t discussed it since.
*Also – the other two sets of parents are all about finding someone else to take their kids for the evening. And have had no one be mad about it.
So I sent out the Rehearsal Dinner invites yesterday, which I said there will be sitters at the house after the Rehearsal so the adults can go to dinner.
She immediately responded that her and her husband won’t go to dinner. She will be at the Rehearsal though, but she’s not ok leaving her kids with someone she doesn’t know. And where exactly would we be leaving them?
I called her and left her a VM (she never answers – is very aloof). I told her that I’ve known the sitters their whole lives (they are almost grad of HS), they’ve lived down the street from my parents forever, and they would be staying at my parents house (Where our whole wedding is taking place). If that’s still a problem, then it’s important to both my FH and me that you be at the dinner, bc this is our cance to thank the Bridal Party. You can have your husband take the girls home, and there are several ppl willing to give you a ride home. I asked her to please call me today so we can talk about things, bc if there is another reason that you aren’t coming, I would like to talk about it.
I.E. if it’s a monetary thing, I don’t f-ing care, I’ll pay. But she has been avoiding me and leaving me in the dust.
I feel like at this point I should just shrug it off, meditate, and tell her “If that’s what you have to do, you have to do. Have a good evening”
But she’s literally planning on leaving my wedding at 830, when all she’s been doing the last year is telling me how excited she is, how she will help with anything, etc, etc, etc… And nothing.
I have known her for 11 years, and it’s just kind of a really shitty feeling to now make this whol weekend about her.
How do you deal with people like this? What are some really great stress relievers (other than wine lol).
I have been doing a good job of not letting things bother me, until now. And with 40 days left to go (and we’re going on vacay together – just girls – for an entire week mid-June), I don’t know how I’m going to be able to act normal aroud her…